When Was the Last Time You Did Something For the First Time?

I went horseback riding today with the ladies in my book club. After I got the hang of what I was doing, I had an hour to sit on my horse, watch the world go by, and think. Here’s what came to mind as I sat atop my horsey, Trigger.

“When was the last time you did something for the first time?”

There were 2 girls in our group today who had never ridden a horse. And most of the rest of us hadn’t ridden since we were kids. It was a little bit scary. As we lined up to get on our horses, there were nervous giggles, talk of upset tummies, of courage draining by the minute, and a couple, “why did I say I’d do this ?”

Once we started off, I alternated between, “i love this!” And, “this is going to be the longest hour of my life!” I wasn’t the only one feeling that way. But guess what? After a while, it was really, really fun. For all of us.

Trying new things is so important.
It’s important for me as a person.
It makes me more interesting.
It helps me grow.
But right now, I think it is most important for me as a mother.

A while back, when I was trying to find the kind of exercise that I enjoyed doing, I took some aerobics classes. My performance was laughable. And what I mean is, I was so bad that the instructor laughed at me. I just could not get the hang of it. It really was hard for me. And sometimes frustrating, and sometimes embarrassing.

At the exact same time, I was trying to teach my son to read. He was struggling. There were times when I wanted to throw the books across the room and give up. I wanted him to just get it, because it surely could’t be this hard. Sometimes I even wondered if he was really trying.

One night in aerobics class, as I went the wrong way again, I suddenly understood how my son felt. And I had so much compassion and empathy for him that it brought tears to my eyes. He was trying. But it was hard. And that was OK. It was going to take a while. And that was OK too.

We expect a lot from our kids. For example: “Stand in front of that hard ball, that’s coming at you really fast and hit it with this little stick. Don’t be scared! And if it hits you, don’t cry!”
Or, “go into that group where you don’t know a soul, and talk to people and make friends, and I’ll pick you up in an hour. Don’t be clingy!”
Or, “sound out these letters into words, and read them quickly, out loud, and in front of people. And you better do it before you are 6. Don’t mess up! And don’t get frustrated!”

Of course it’s imperative for us to encourage our kids to try new things, to meet new people , and to learn new skills. But we must show them kindness and gentleness during the process. We need to give them grace when it’s hard. We need to hug them and say, “it’s OK to be scared.”And we need to know where they are coming from. Like Atticus Finch said, “you never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”

So go for it.
Be the new kid.
Be a beginner.
Be not good at something.
Struggle.
Be scared.
It will help you understand your kids better.
It will help you love your kids better.
(And after a little while, you might even start having fun.)

I love this quote buy Madeleine L'Engle about the value of remembering what it is to be a child, or a teen. She is so right. We can't forget our child like selves as we parent our our children. It allows us to parent with empathy and grace and compassion. Those are critical things to loving our children well.

“I am still every age that I have been. Because I was once a child, I am always a child. Because I was once a searching adolescent, given to moods and ecstasies, these are still part of me, and always will be... This does not mean that I ought to be trapped or enclosed in any of these ages...the delayed adolescent, the childish adult, but that they are in me to be drawn on; to forget is a form of suicide... Far too many people misunderstand what *putting away childish things* means, and think that forgetting what it is like to think and feel and touch and smell and taste and see and hear like a three-year-old or a thirteen-year-old or a twenty-three-year-old means being grownup. When I'm with these people I, like the kids, feel that if this is what it means to be a grown-up, then I don't ever want to be one. Instead of which, if I can retain a child's awareness and joy, and *be* fifty-one, then I will really learn what it means to be grownup.” 

Loving Your Late Bloomer

We live in a world that doesn’t really celebrate late bloomers. In fact, from the time our kids are just tiny babies, we celebrate every early accomplishment they make: the early walker, the early talker, the early reader, the early writer.

On the flip side, if our baby is a year old we might hate admitting they’re not sleeping through the night yet. And if our 3 year old is still in diapers, we might make embarrassed excuses for him, “you know, some boys are a little slower to potty train.”
When our daughter is 4 and more interested in playing in the mud than learning to write her name, we might worry that she’s falling behind her peers.
And when our son still doesn't know his letters and sounds at 5, we’re terrified that he’ll never catch up on reading.

No one seems to be celebrating the late reader, the later writer, the late talker, the late walker. We might feel a sense of relief when they finally do meet a milestone, but we’re certainly less likely to share a post on Instagram that our late writer has finally mastered his name in the wobbly script his friends mastered 2 years ago.

Why is that?
Are we ashamed? Embarrassed? Afraid we or our child will be seen as less than?
Maybe its a little bit of all those things.
As parents we want so badly for our kids to be the best at all the things, that we sometimes forget that their best might happen at a different time than everyone else.

No parent is immune to this worry. And I think that should bind us together and offer such comfort. Yet the parent of a late bloomer often feels so lonely in their journey.
That’s one of the reasons I love the children’s book, “Leo the Late Bloomer.”

This book is a very simple story, but contains such wisdom and comfort for any parent who is watching and waiting for their little one to bloom.

The story starts out with Leo, a little tiger, tangled amidst the blooms of a flowering plant. “Leo couldn’t do anything right,” the text reads. Oh, haven't we all felt that about our later bloomers at some point?

Leo’s friends, an owl, elephant, snake, red plover, and crocodile can all read, write, draw, talk  and eat without making a mess. But Leo can do none of these things.
“What’s the matter with Leo?” asked Leo’s father.
“Nothing,” said Leo’s mother. “Leo is just a late bloomer.”

Leo’s father struggles with this idea. Which I can relate to. He watches Leo, worrying, as Leo simply dig holes in the snow while his friends make beautiful ice sculptures.  But Leo’s mother remains calm. I so long for her gentleness and trust as she waits patiently for her cub to bloom when he’s ready.

And of course, one day he does! We can’t help but celebrate with Leo as he learns to read and draw and write and then say his very first words, “I made it!”  I remember reading this book as a child and feeling happiness for Leo. Its the same happiness we should feel for our own late bloomer or the happiness we should feel for our friends and their later bloomers.

Its such a temptation to compare our kids to every other kid around them. But we really need to give our kids and ourselves a break. No more hovering and worrying. More trusting that, most of the time, our kids will bloom when they’re ready.

As a mother to a few late bloomers myself, I can tell you that I’ve spent a lot of time playing the role of Leo’s dad. I worried and pushed and hovered and it was to no avail. My later reader read when he was ready, at 8 years old. He’s 13 now and reads above grade level and is doing just fine. It was hard to believe that would happen when I was in the midst of it. But it did. He bloomed!

Determined to be more like Leo’s mother with my second child, I didn’t worry about his late blooming. But as time went by and reading and writing remained a big struggle for him, it eventually become clear that this wasn’t a later blooming problem. Something more was going on.

And that right there is the real reason that most parents struggle to fully celebrate their late bloomers. Its why we’re more often like Leo’s dad than Leo’s mom. Because we worry this will be our outcome. We worry there really is a problem. We worry that by not identifying it soon enough, we’ll have failed our kids.

I get it.
I wish I had not been quite so relaxed as I waited for my son to bloom. He definitely needed extra help. Thankfully he’s getting it now and making great leaps with a teacher who understands his needs and can teach him in ways I cannot.

I’d further add that I don't think my son's case is the norm. More often than not, the late blowing isn’t an indication of a serious problem. Experts want to make us believe that it is. But the truth is, not every child learns to read at 5. Just like every child doesn't learn to walk at 1. Most of the time, they just need a little more time in the sun to bloom when they’re ready.

And now I’m here with my 3rd son, another later bloomer. In some ways he’s felt like the latest bloomer of them all. He’s immature in so many ways, and every once in a while I’ve caught myself wondering, “will he ever bloom?” 

But over the past few months, he’s been blossoming. He’s finally able to make his hands draw the pictures in his head, and now he spends hours drawing pictures, the floor around him littered with papers and pens and markers. Because he hasn't bloomed quite enough to not make gigantic messes every time he creates.

Last week he said he wanted to practice reading, and on our first lesson he mastered identifying letters and sounds and piecing together words with ease. I waited until he was ready because I knew pushing him wouldn’t work. We’d both hate it. He’s 6 and a half. That means he’s miles behind many of his same age peers. But he’s also miles ahead of both of his brothers at that age.

Which just goes to show that every single kid needs to be given their own time table for blooming. And that the wise parents waits. And when something seems truly amiss, the wise parent is brave enough to face that. If not, she’ll let her child bloom when he’s ready. And then she’ll celebrate him!

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Understanding the Dangers of Pornography. Protecting Our Children From Pornography Part I

Of all the blog posts I’ve ever written, this one feels like one of the most important. This blog post has been years in the making, and its one I’ve not wanted to write. For some time I really fought it. Couldn’t I just keep the knowledge to myself, and help my own kids? Wasn't that enough?

It wasn’t. Again and again there was that nudging. And lately it has grown stronger and stronger. Only a month or so ago I read this quote in a book called Christy. A book written many years ago, that seems to have nothing to do with topic I’m sharing. But it encapsulates so well why I have to talk about this. “You see, evil is real—and powerful. It has to be fought, not explained away, not fled.  And God is against evil all the way. So each of us has to decide where we stand, how we’re going to live our lives.  We can try to persuade ourselves that evil doesn't exist; live for ourselves and wink at evil. We can say it isn’t so bad after all, maybe even try to call it fun by clothing it in silks and velvets. We can compromise with it, keep quiet about it and say its none of our business. Or we can work on God’s side, listen for His orders, on strategy against the evil, no matter how horrible it is, and know that He can transform it.” (Christy pg 95) That quotes states so clearly why I am writing today, about protecting our children from pornography.

It all started many years ago, when I was a young high school teacher. I can recall the scene vividly. There I was, 22 years old, fresh from college and with a heart ready to make a difference in the lives of my students. This was my first time in public high school. I had been home schooled for nearly all of my elementary, jr. high, and high school education. And though I’d spent the last 5 years in a public university, there were still things about life on a public high school campus that shocked me. The day that I saw one of my 9th grade boys with what I considered to be a soft porn picture in his binder, was one of those days.

I’m sure some teachers would have walked right by, and maybe not even have noticed that picture of a girl on the back of a motor cycle. She wore a g-string bikini and her butt cheeks were hanging off the seat of the motor cycle. Her voluptuous bosom was pressed against the man in front of her, and the picture was extremely sexual. And, as far as I was concerned, extremely inappropriate for this 14 year old boy to be carrying around school. I couldn't ignore it.

I called him out on it. “You can’t have that picture in my classroom,” I told him. After his initial anger that I dared tell him his personal property wasn't allowed in my classroom, this student was genuinely baffled that I, or anyone else would be offended by this picture stuck in his binder cover. He was completely shocked when I told him that images like this were something called “soft porn”. And that they were the gateway to much more destructive, and hard core porn. I’m sure he thought I was crazy.

But this experience, and many more like it, set me thinking. How could I protect the children I hoped to have one day, from this kind of sexual experience? How would I teach my sons that women were not objects, and were to be admired for the brains just as much as their bodies? How would I teach my daughters that they were so much more than a pair of boobs and a good butt? I knew that this was going to be a battle. And I was prepared to fight it.

What I didn’t know then, was that the face of pornography would change so dramatically and become so much more dangerous in such a short time. You see, when I was a high school teacher 15 years ago, there were no smart phones. There was no pornography, free and ready to stream, at anyone’s fingertips. But there is now. In fact, “between 1998 and 2007, the online porn industry exploded: the number of pornographic websites grew by 1,800%.” (Fight the New Drug)  Pornography is very different now that it was just 20 years ago. Because of easy, and unlimited access, kids are being exposed to pornography at younger and younger ages. Current statistics state that 90% of kids age 8-16 have been exposed to pornography. The average age for first time exposure is 11 years old. The statistics are frightening. We parents must face the reality that we are in an absolute battle for our children’s minds, and hearts, their emotional and sexual health, for their future relationships, their marriages, and their faith. For some, it will even be a battle for their very lives.

Like I said, this isn't a post I’m excited to write. I’d rather write about the beautiful and joyful parts of mothering. I’d like to share sentimental stories that make you cry, or give you a list of my favorite picture books. But the truth is, I can’t ignore this problem, and neither can you. Because this is one of the greatest battles we’ll fight in our children’s life times. We can’t hide from it any more. We must be willing to be uncomfortable. It is time to be brave. It is time to fight back!

Matt Fraud, author of the book, The Porn Myth, says this: “few things in our society are more concerning than pornography. Research is beginning to show just how harmful it is. We now know that pornography plays a role in sex trafficking, child exploitation and sexual violence. Pornography also affects the developing brains of of youth and shapes the sexual template of our entire society We are seeing unprecedented levels of sexual dysfunction in many young men and experts are attributing the trend to high levels of porn consumption. Yet many of us have been duped into believing pornography is healthy and normal…..”

The producers of pornography want you to believe the lie that you’ve been fed for years and years. The lie that pornography is no big deal. That it is harmless, and even funny. They want to normalize porn by making jokes about it on tv shows and movies. They want to trivialize porn by getting people to use the hashtag #foodporn when they post a picture of their meal on Instagram. Of course those things are a lie. Porn is a gigantic business. “Worldwide porn revenues exceed the incomes of Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo, Apple, and Netflix combined!” (Fight the New Drug) When there is so much money to be made, porn producers will do whatever it takes to get you, or your child, to watch their product. And to get you, or your child, addicted to pornogrpahy.

So lets look at the what happens when a child sees porn. It’s no big deal, right? Innocent curiosity? A harmless bit of teenage fun? Maybe even a healthy way to learn about sex. That’s what the pornographers want you to believe. But they could not be more wrong! While initial viewing of pornography by kids and young teens is often an accident, or unintentional, it is incredibly common for the child to return to that pornography. That is the natural human response. The trouble is, this opens the door to an host of potential trouble.

The following is an example of the many, different  dangers the come of viewing porn. I know it seems unbelievable and unlikely that this could be your child’s story. But the truth is, this is the story of many young men and women. Be aware of the danger, so you can protect your child.

1. The porn consumer sees a sex act that is pure fantasy, and believes it is real. There are lights, scripts, costumes, make up, actors and editing. It is not real! But this becomes his idea of what normal sex is.
2. This sets the consumer up for unrealistic sexual expectations. And when the consumer is in a real relationship, there is a greater likelihood he’ll feel dissatisfied when his reality doesn't match the fantasy he’s been fed.
3. In a marriage relationship, this can lead to unfaithfulness. In fact, statistics state that regular porn use increases marital infidelity by 300%.
4.  Porn objectifies and demeans women, thus leading the men who are watching it to take on that view of women too. This will have a powerful impact on any relationship a porn consuming male has with women.
5. Regular porn consuming easily leads to porn addiction. Research has shown that pornography is as addictive as cocaine. It actually changes pathways in the brain. It causes brain damage.
6. Porn addiction leads to depression, shame, self hatred, and even suicidal thoughts.
7. Porn addiction causes erectile dysfunction in men as young as 15 years old. It has become an actual medical problem in America as more and more young men are unable to become sexually aroused without the use of pornography.
8. A porn addict needs to consume increasingly hard core porn to get that high.
9. That means he will begin to consume porn that is violent, and includes such things as rape, and even child pornography. “The biggest sex educator of young men today is pornography, which is increasingly violent and dehumanizing, and it changes the way men view women.” (Dr. Gail Dines)
10. In the end, the videos being consumed by the porn addict contribute to sex trafficking. Because those actors have to come from somewhere. Unfortunately, many of them are victims of sex trafficking.

These are not the truths the porn industry wants you to know. They want you to believe that pornography is harmless and even a healthy sexual act. Don’t believe them. Pornography is so much deeper and darker and more dangerous than most of us will ever know.
So what can we do? How can we take steps to protect our kids from walking down this dark and dangerous road?

First, I want to assure you that we are not without hope. We serve a mighty God and His light is brighter than any darkness. But that doesn’t mean we can sit by and hope for the best. We need to take action.
Here are some ways you can protect your children from pornography.

First, be informed. Research this issue. Go to the resource guide at the end of this article, and order books, read articles, and visit websites. Knowledge will motivate you and empower you to fight.
Second, be open. Start the conversation with your kids about pornography. Let them ask questions. Read books with them if you don’t know what to say. Don’t make it just a dad and son thing. Moms, you need to talk to your sons  too. And your daughters. The whole family needs to be open to this discussion.
Third, be prepared. Be ready to offer your kids a battle plan for protecting themselves from porn. And if they have already been exposed to porn, be prepared with ways to get them help.
Fourth, be diligent. Don’t give your kids smart phones with no filters and blocks on them. Don’t let them use the computer in their room alone. Don’t let them spend time with friends who have no filters on their phones. Check their devices, check their histories, and don’t let your guard down.
Fifth, be involved. Being a part of your child’s life is one of the best ways to help them avoid the pitfalls of pornography. By having a meaningful and connected relationship, you are offering them the real love that pornography never can. Let them know you are a safe harbor, a welcome place for their questions, concerns, and even mistakes. Spend as much time with them as you can, doing the things they love. Help them stay connected to the real world so they don’t crave a false one.

I know this topic is very heavy. It is my prayer that you will take this information and begin to do your part in protecting your child from pornography. May we be the generation of parents who rise up against this evil and raise children who do not delight in evil, but rejoice with the truth. (I Corinthians 13:6)

Here is a resource guide for you. There are many, many good resources on this topic out there. But the ones I recommend here are all ones I have read and used personally. There are books, articles and websites for you to look at. I urge you to take some time and go through these.
You can also listen to me speak more on this topic on the At Home podcast. Listen here.

Books:
The Porn Myth by Matt Fraud
How to Talk to your Kids About Pornography by Educate and Empower Kids
Good Pictures/Bad Pictures by Kristen A Jensen and Gail Poyner
The Tech-Wise Family by Andy Crouch
Articles:
“Please don’t give them porn for Christmas” by Tim Challies
“The Horror Stories are Real. Don’t Give you Children a Smart Phone.” by Johnathon Van Maren
“Want to Stop Sex Trafficking? Look to America’s Porn Addiction” by John-Henry Westen
“Generation XXX: 11 and 12 year Olds are Struggling With Porn More Than Ever Before” by Fight the New Drug
Websites:
Josh McDowell
Sean McDowell
Fight the New Drug

Cultivating a Creative Home

“Every child is an artist, the problem is staying an artist when you grow up” Pablo Picasso
My husband is an artist, and has been since he was a very little boy. Many times I've heard him tell the story of starting school where every single one of his classmates was an artist. Everyone drew and everyone created. But as each year went by, fewer and fewer kids saw themselves as artists. Fewer kids used their free time to draw. By 5th or 6th grade there were only a small handful of kids sitting together and drawing or creating. And that number continued to shrink from there. Hearing that story, always made me sad. And it made me purpose in my heart to raise my kids in an environment where they’d stay artists, even when they grew up. Because, no matter what career they end up pursuing, having the creative mind of an artist will be a tremendous benefit to them.

It’s funny then, that when I’m asked what I’ve done to raise kids who are creative and artistic, that I often brush that question aside, attributing their artistic ability to the fact that their dad is an artist, and that they inherited all their talent from him. But recently I thought about that promise I made long before we even had kids, and my plan to raise them in an abundantly creative home. I thought about the ways I have purposefully created an environment that fosters their creativity. And I realized that, while their raw artistic talent is all from their dad, I have had a little something to do with the blossoming of it.

I compiled a list of 5 things I've done to cultivate a creative culture in our home and to help my children thrive as artists. None of them are difficult or expensive to do. Nor do they require you, the parent, to have any special artistic ability or know how. After all, I can hardly draw a stick figure! But that's ok. Because what I can do is to raise my kids in an environment where creativity and art are celebrated. I hope that this list leaves you feeling inspired and empowered to cultivate creativity in your home. Because the world needs more people who will fill it with beauty. The world needs more artists. 

The first, and one of the most impactful decisions we’ve made to help foster creativity in our kids, is to enforce strict limits on technology in our home.
We’ve never had cable tv in our home. And for the past 18 years, we’ve not had television at all.  We do have Netflix on the computer, but we’ve made a conscious effort not to allow our kids to watch very much of it. We especially limited screen time before the age of 5. Now that the kids are older, those limits are looser, but the limits still exist. In addition, the kids don’t play video or computer games of any kind. We don’t own gaming systems or tablets, and the kids don’t have phones.
Because tv, video games, or spending time on a tablet or phone are not available, my kids must do other things with their time. They are forced to use their time in creative ways. Any time I relax the limits and allow for more time watching shows on Netflix, there is a dramatic decrease in their ability to pursue other, more creative, activities. That only encourages me to keep the limits in place, because the thing I want so much for our kids is for them to be creative, imaginative people. And when screen time is limited, their creativity and imagination thrives!
“Be brave enough to live life creatively.” Alan Alda

The second thing I’ve done to promote creativity, imagination and artistic pursuits is to allow plenty of unstructured free time.
In our busy world, it is so tempting to have our kids enrolled in many different classes and activities. We feel like our kids are falling behind if they are not playing a sport, learning a musical instrument, acting in plays, getting extra tutoring in math, hiking with the girl scouts, perfecting their Russian, and learning hula dancing.
But what I have found is that by allowing my kids whole afternoons of unstructured time, they naturally fill that time with things they are passionate about. They draw, paint, build doll house furniture, create stop motion movies on the camera, sew, write stories, build lego creations, sculpt, or build elaborate mazes with dominoes. In short, they are busy creating!
Making art takes time. It takes time to come up with a creative vision and then it takes time to execute it. Therefore, if we truly want our children to be creative, we must allow our kids time to create. We mustn’t consider free time wasted time, but rather an essential tool of creativity. And then, we must steel ourselves against the notion that awards and accolades are the only measure of our children’s success. After all, their creations may not win them trophies or be anything more than a growing stack of drawings in a drawer. But those creations, I believe, are the building blocks for a creative future. Which is the kind of life I want my kids to have.
“Almost all creativity requires purposeful play.” Abraham Maslow

The third thing I have done to cultivate a creative, artistic  environment in our home, is expose our kids to lots of great art.
From the time they were tiny babies I read my kids books with beautiful illustrations, and even showed them paintings and drawings done by great artists. I have tried to fill their heads with beautiful pictures to help them create their own. We also give books with gorgeous illustrations for gifts each Christmas and birthday. Our home, and even the walls of their bedrooms, have always been full of all sorts of visually stimulating and inviting art. There are shelves filled with great art books. I pull them out often and leave them lying on the coffee table for the kids to thumb through and be inspired by. We read biographies about the lives of great artists, from the ancient times to modern day. Because learning about people who make art, inspires them to make our own.
I’ve made art history one of our subjects in school. Learning the history of art makes it interesting and approachable to my kids. When we know the names of pieces of art and of the artist who created them, the art becomes familiar to us, and then it becomes loved. Even when they were small, we took our kids museums and art galleries. And we’ve always made sure that we admire, talk about, and appreciate art in many forms: design, illustration, architecture, painting, set and costume design, animation, sculpture, furniture design and fashion, to name a few. Art and creativity are a daily part of our lives and our family culture. We celebrate beauty, and therefore we celebrate the creating of beauty through art.
“A picture book is a small door to the enormous world of the visual arts, and they're often the first art a young person sees.” Tomie dePaola

The fourth thing I’ve done to help my kids create lots and lots of art is to make creating a habit.
From a very young age, probably 2 or 3, I encouraged creative activities while we did life. While my kids waited for breakfast, I gave them paper and washable markers. Or, if they weren’t ready for drawing yet, a large stack of books with beautiful illustrations to capture their imaginations. Now that my kids are older, they consistently sit down at the breakfast table with a book or a piece of paper and a pencil. Creativity has become a way of life. 
They have clipboards full of paper and a pencil case of markers and pens to use whenever we drive in the car. They draw or build legos while we do many subjects of school. I’m reading aloud and they are creating. I know some people think this is an incredible distraction, but I found my kids always listened better and were more focused if their hands were busy. Our family listens to audio books constantly, and while we do, the kids are drawing or building. When we go to the doctor’s office or have to wait somewhere, they pull out a book or clipboard and start reading or drawing. We even draw out in nature when we are on a hike. Or when we are at a museum looking at beautiful paintings or taxidermy animals. There is creative inspiration everywhere we go.
“Being creative is not a hobby, it is a way of life.”  Author unknown

The last thing I have done to help my kids grow as artists, is to have art supplies always ready for them to create whenever inspiration strikes.
There is a huge stack of drawing paper in the dining room so they can grab a piece any time they want and draw or paint. On the dining room table sits a tray filled with markers and good drawing pens and pencils. There are also colored pencils pastels, and paints. Erasers, tape, glue, pencil sharpeners, and rulers are also stored in the tray. It’s always there so they can plop down art the table and draw any time. Or they can take supplies and go draw in their room, go outside, or make art while I read to them for school. All day long they can draw or create with ease because the supplies are easily available. We also have a variety of art books to look at for inspiration and instruction. They cover everything from hand lettering, to figure drawing, embroidery, and cartooning. I keep a glue gun handy and glue sticks stocked. There are building materials always ready—things like popsicle sticks and small squares of fabric, bottle caps, buttons and shoe boxes. We have endless bins of legos, wooden blocks and train tracks for all the engineering and architecture they want to experiment with. Hammers and nails and big pieces of scrap wood for paintings or building things. There’s a big box of dominoes for making amazing domino tracks that tip over onto one another with the touch of a fingertip. I never know what will inspire my kids’ imaginations, so I just like to have a lot on hand always ready for them.
“Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.”  Mary Lou Cook
 

I don't know what my kids will be when they grow up. I’d love to see all of my children grow up and pursue careers in art. But what I want most for them is to pursue things that bring them joy and fulfillment, and allow them to be a help and blessing to the world around them. And I know that whatever they end up doing with their life, having a creative, artistic  mind and spirit will be such a gift to them, and help them find success in whatever they do. 
 

Remember, “You can't just give someone a creativity injection. You have to create an environment for curiosity and a way to encourage people and get the best out of them.” Ken Robinson. With that in mind, here is a list of resources either my children or I have found helpful in this pursuit of cultivating a creative life. All of them are books. Because we are a book family! 

Books for the babies:
*Andy Warhol’s Colors by Susan Goldman Rubin
"Counting with Wayne Thiebaud by Susan Goldman Rubin
*In the Garden with Van Gogh by Julie Merberg and Suzanne Bobner
*Art by Karen Salmansohn
 
Books about artists:
*Meet Edgar Degas by Anne Newlands
*Norman Rockwell—Story Teller With a Brush by Beverly Gherman
*Linnea In Monet’s Garden by Christina Bjork
*An Eye For Color—The Story of Josef Albers by Natasha Wing
*Michelangelo by Dianne Stanley
*13 Artists Children Should Know by Angela Wenzel
* Beatrix Potter’s Art by Anne Stevenson Hobbs
*Magic Color Flair—the World of Mary Blair by John Canemaker
*Mid Century Modern Women in the Visual Arts by Gloria Fowler
*Ansel Adams: 400 photographs by Ansel Adams

Books to learn about art:
*The School of Art by Teal Triggs
*13 Art Techniques Children Should Know by Angela Wenzel
* A Child’s Introduction to Art by Heather Alexander
*13 Pantings Children Should Know by Angela Wenzel
* A Child’s History of Art by V.M. Hillyer and E. G. Huey

Books about making art:
*Art Camp by Susan Schwak
*Archidoodle by Steve Bowkett
*Yellow Owl’s Little Prints by Christine Schmidt
*Figure Drawing—Design and Invention by Michael Hampton
*Hand Lettering for Everyone by Cristina Vanko
*“Make A World” (and other drawing books) by Ed Emberly
Special note! I can’t say enough about these drawing books by Ed Emberly I believe they were foundational for all of my children learning to draw and then learning to love to draw. These books teach that all drawings are simply made from a series of shapes. They allow a child to have quick success in drawing and we all know success breeds success. These books are just wonderful!
And lest you think these are just simple, cartoon drawings, you should know that Ed Emberly is beloved amongst many artists today. He is considered to have had a profound influence upon many them while they were young artists growing up. You can learn more about Ed Emmberly by watching this video here. 

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One Year After a Miscarriage--A Reflection

I wrote the following post 7 years ago yesterday. It expresses some of my thoughts, experiences, and questions in the first year after a miscarriage. The pain of losing our baby at 12 weeks has lessened greatly over the years, but it never goes away entirely. Because, even when no one else remembers, I do. This quote by Barbra Kingsolver expresses it so well: "A miscarriage is a natural and common event. All told, probably more women have lost a child from this world than haven't. Most don't mention it, and they go on from day to day as if it hadn't happened, so people imagine a woman in this situation never really knew or loved what she had. But ask her sometime: how old would your child be now? And she'll know.” It doesn’t matter how small that baby was, their life is always cherished in the heart of their mother.

Last week I was at the market, picking up groceries, and I saw the first daffodils of the season. Tears sprang to my eyes immediately. I wait for those flowers each year. They are a tangible reminder to me of that little life I once held in my body. After I lost the baby I received many bouquets of daffodils. They became to me a cherished flower, a reminder of grief, but also of hope and of healing.

Still, that first glimpse of them every year hits me hard. Because I don’t think of our baby every day any more. Not like I did in the beginning. At that time I couldn’t imagine there being a time when I wouldn’t. In fact, I was afraid of that happening. But grief changes with time. I know that now. And I’m not afraid of it anymore.

I do know that the road after a miscarriage can be a lonely one. It was for me. There are so many emotions to navigate. I didn’t know what was normal, or when it was no longer “ok” to feel so emotional. Was there a time limit to my grief? And I didn’t know who to talk to about these things.

So I share this post with you now because you may know someone who needs to read it. You might even need it yourself. At the very least, you can read it to grow your own understanding of how to help a mama who is walking through the pain and grief of miscarriage. Before I had one myself, I really had no idea how to minister to a grieving mama. I do now. And every time I do, I whisper a prayer of thanks for the life of my little babe, who’s short life blessed mine, so that I could in turn bless others.

II Corinthians 1:3-4 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”


February 18, 2011–One Year After a Miscarriage

One year ago I visited the dr. and learned my 4th child had died.  Only 12 weeks old, but already such a part of me, and a part of our family.

A few days later I shared with all of you that we’d lost our baby and I was awed by the immediate outpouring of love showered on me. People I didn't even know sent me cards and notes. I saved them all. I'd wake from a nap to find flowers or baked goods on my front porch. People brought dinner. Friends came and sat with me and let me cry. I was blessed and humbled and felt less alone.

But as the months passed, it became lonely again. I couldn't talk to Aaron about it because he was still sorting through his own grief. The subject was so loaded with hurt and sadness that we almost stopped speaking of it. I felt self indulgent discussing it with anyone else, even though I wanted to so badly. I'd mention it on occasion, but eventually even felt that was too much.

Then I got pregnant again and there was so much joy in my heart. Everything went just as it should. We saw the baby's heartbeat at just 6 weeks, and there was weeping afresh, but a new kind. The tears were joyful, and grateful, but there was also still fear. Pregnancy after miscarriage is different. It’s terrifying. The fear of loss that accompanies every pregnancy is real now in a different way now. I know it intimately. 

Then there was a scare at my 12 week check up.  The dr. couldn't hear the heartbeat, and although she was very cool as she searched my belly, she began to ask those questions again: "Have you had any spotting?  Any cramping of any sort?  Everything seems normal?" Then she gave up and said we needed to do an ultrasound. It was just like the last time. My heart sank.

But Aaron was wth me this time. I wouldn’t have to face it alone. I could see in his face that he was scared too. Inside the ultra sound room, the doctor moved quickly. She  found that baby right away, and she let us watch it move and kick and jump around. It was relief and joy unimaginable. And yet, that fear was there, lurking.

As soon as I began to show people began to ask, "wow! A baby! How many do you have?” That’s when I discovered a new part of this journey that I was still on. Despite my deep and abiding joy at the new life growing in me, I was still mourning the life that was lost. It hadn't even been a year since we lost our baby and I was, and am, still sad. So I wanted to answer every time, "5.  This is my 5th baby.” But sometimes that led to other questions and that was awkward. I wasn't always prepared to share the story of our miscarriage. Still, I felt disloyal somehow to say “this is my 4th baby.” Because it isn’t. My 4th baby lived such a short time, but that baby was real, and a part of our life.

Grief is such a difficult thing. Especially in the face of a new happiness. I felt sad for the one thing and happy for the other. But my happiness didn't take away the sadness that the other happened. I’m still not sure how to sort through all of it.

A couple of months ago, a friend at church shared something with me that helped me more than she could have imagined. We hadn't seen them in a while and they were asking about our new pregnancy. "Was this planned or a surprise?" she wanted to know.

I explained that we had gotten a surprise pregnancy and lost it, and afterward discovered we did indeed want another baby. When I spoke about losing the baby, I couldn't keep the tears from coming to my eyes. This friend looked at me and said, " I lost a baby between my 1st and 3rd pregnancy, and even though it's been 20 years, I still feel the loss. And I still mourn for that baby."

Her words gave me life. They were so liberating! I felt like she was giving me permission to grieve still. I am so grateful to her for that. We never know how sharing a little piece of our heart and our story will encourage and lift someone up.

In the past few months, I have read the story of Lazarus several times. I have taken great comfort in that little verse found in the story:"Jesus wept." (John 11:35) Jesus knew Lazarus would not stay dead.  He knew the miracle and the joy that was waiting before Him. But it did not take away the horrible sadness of that moment. Because death is horribly sad. It doesn't matter if it is an unborn baby, a grandma, a pet, or a teenager. It doesn't matter if it is someone who will be alive again shortly, like Lazarus. Death is a tragedy. And we are supposed to weep and mourn when it comes.

So here I am, feeling joy with every kick from my sweet 5th baby. But still mourning the loss of a tiny one that I never got to feel kick. And that is OK.

Thank you for being on this journey with me. Your love and support have been a comfort and a blessing. I have learned a lot. It is my hope that I have a softer heart to others in pain. It is the way I honor my tiny babe.

Love from Greta

Home Schooling 101 -- The Early Years

“Do you have any suggestions for our kinder year?”
“What books should we be reading?” 
“How much math should we be doing?” 
“What should our days look like?”
“Is that all there is in Year 0?” 
“What curriculum should I order?”
“What are we supposed to do all day?” 
“Where do I begin?”

I get these kind of questions from new home schooling mamas often.
They’re excited to start homeschooling.
It looks amazing!
Especially when they’ve been following all those beautiful home schooling feeds on Instagram.
It looks so romantic and idyllic.
It looks so magical and creative.
It looks like everything that childhood and education should be.

But as inspiring as those images are, any one new to home schooling could easily come away from them feeling a little, or a lot, lost.
Because, what those lovely images don’t provide are the nitty gritty details of what to do with your 5 year old everyday.
Outside of nature walks, tea parties, and reading books, that is.

So I thought I’d do my best to provide some helpful details and encouragement for those of you just starting out.
I don’t claim to be an expert on schooling any kids (even my own).
And the ideas I share are shaped by my belief that the early years of education should be heavy on play and making learning fun, and light on academics.
And they should, in fact, include plenty of nature walks, tea parties, and reading books.
But if you are ok with all that, let’s get started!

Now I know you’d like me to give you a list of activities to do with your child, and a list of books to read. And maybe post a sample schedule or two.
You think that’s all you need to get going on this journey.
But I’m not starting there.
Sorry. (not sorry)

Instead, I’d like you to sit back for a minute and stop worrying about curriculum and schedules and activities.
Instead, think about why you are home schooling.
Not how you will you home school.
But why.
If you haven’t done it already, spend some time now developing your philosophy of education.
(I talk about that here.)

Next think about these early years.
What is the purpose of education in the early years?
What are the most valuable things for a child to gain at the start of their education?
And what goals do you have for your child as they begin their school career?

For me, the answer is less about learning to read by age 6, knowing their colors, and being able to do simple addition and subtraction.
My goal is something less concrete.
But it is something that will set the stage for the rest of their educational career.
For the rest of their life, in fact.
It is something like this:

You see, I want to start my children off by falling in love with learning.
I want to light the fire in their minds and hearts.
I want them to give them a yearning for learning.

So for me, the early years are all about making learning beautiful, exciting, rich, and even fun.
Yes, fun.
I’m not sure why, but there is this idea that school shouldn’t be fun.
Or at least not too fun.
Because school should be work.
And work is not fun.

But I think we are doing a great disservice to our children when we embrace that idea.
Because learning can, and should be fun.
It should be a joy!
This quote by Plato says it so beautifully, “Knowledge which is acquired under compulsion has no hold on the mind. Therefore do not use compulsion, but let early education be a sort of amusement; you will then be better able to discover the child’s natural bent.”

So, yes, the early years of learning should be full of fun.
They should be rich with play.
Play time is not wasted time.
Play time is when children learn.
“We have decades of research in child development and neuroscience that tell us that young children learn actively — they have to move, use their senses, get their hands on things, interact with other kids and teachers, create, invent.”
This quote, from author and child development expert, Nancy Carlsson-Paarticle, supports what I know to be true based on memories of my own early education, of watching my own children learn, and the simple, yet profound intuition found in my own heart.
I am my children’s mother, and I know how they learn best.

In America, play time is becoming less and less a part of the academic day.
It used to be that kindergarten was largely about play time.
Now, even some pre-schools are limiting play time for their 3 and 4 year old students.
This is a tragedy for young learners.
“Play is the primary engine of human growth; it’s universal – as much as walking and talking. Play is the way children build ideas and how they make sense of their experience and feel safe. Just look at all the math concepts at work in the intricate buildings of kindergartners. Or watch a 4-year-old put on a cape and pretend to be a superhero after witnessing some scary event. But play is disappearing from classrooms. Even though we know play is learning for young kids, we are seeing it shoved aside to make room for academic instruction and “rigor.”” (Nancy Carlsson–Paarticle0

I’ve spent a good amount of time researching the value of play in early education and am greatly inspired by the schools in the Denmark and Finland.
Formal academics there don’t begin until age 7.
In Finland, the early childhood education program actually writes “joy” and “play” into the curriculum as a learning concepts. (Taught By Finland)
They subscribe to an old Finnish saying, “those things you learn without joy you will forget easily.”
This is the kind of motto I want to embrace as I teach my own children.

Yet, how often have I struggled with feeling that my children were behind their peers academically.
And of course I then felt I was doing a poor job educating them.
I must constantly remind myself that there are a host of things my children are doing well, and even excelling at.
I must remember that giving them a joyful attitude toward learning, especially in the early years, is as worthy a goal as is achieving academic excellence.

The reality is that because I place such a high value on play in the early years of schooling, things at my house are going to look quite a bit different than at the traditional elementary school in my neighborhood.
I have to be ok with that.
I have to be ok with late reading, and messy handwriting, and children who are not up to grade level in all subjects.
I love this quote by Karen Andreola, “Let us be faithful teachers. No matter what the pace, children need to know they can accomplish the tasks set before them. Meeting grade level requirements in the early years is not as important as steadfast effort.”

Of course I do require my children do their school work.
But I also allow them more time with a concept or subject if they need it.
I allow playing with Legos while I read aloud to them from a book.
I consider a nature walk our science class for the day.
I must remember my end goal of education is to create life long learners.
And that happens when children are taught to love learning in the early years.

As you enter these early years of educating your child, remember its about so much more than your daily schedule or learning those ABCs.
Its about instilling a love for learning, and making that happen with play time and good books and time spent exploring out of doors.
Now is your chance to give them the world!

And thats enough educational philosophy talk, right?
Here’s that list you’ve been waiting for!
These are simple suggestions that you can start using tomorrow if you’d like.
I’d create a loose schedule or rhythm for your days and week, and think about what things you’d like most to incorporate into your days.
Start slow and start small.
They are little, they don’t need a packed schedule.
Remember to let them have fun and to let them play.
Make school time joyful!

To start your day:
I like to begin with the Bible, singing a hymn and poetry.

Some of our favorites for Bible time are:
‘Read Aloud Bible Stories’ by Ella K. Lindvall for your youngest ones
“The Jesus Storybook Bible’ for your littles to adults
“Leading Little Ones to God’ by Marian Schooland for devotion time with the younger elementary set.

For hymn singing, we sing the same hymn for a whole month, and then pick a new one.
You can find them on the internet, or find a hymnal at a used bookstore or Christian book store.

Some of my favorite poetry resources are:
“A Light In the Attic” and “Where the Sidewalk Ends” by Shel Silverstein for poems that will make you giggle
“When We Were Very Young” and “Now We Are Six” by A.A. Milne for more poems that will make you giggle
“A Child’s Garden of Verses” by Robert Louis Stevenson is a must for your library.
Ambleside online has a marvelous collection of poems arranged by month I printed them all out and we read them all year long, over and over. Find them here

You can add poetry memorization and scripture memorization to this part of the day
Just remember to keep the whole thing pretty short.
Little ones don’t need long lessons.

Creating a literary culture in your home:
It is incredibly important that you give your children a love for books from the very start.
Read every single day, all day, and make reading fun.

Have a plethora of good picture books for them to read to themselves before they can read words.
You can find those at used books sales, library book stores, garage sales.
Find an excellent book list of picture books here.

Don’t be afraid to read longer books to them, even when they are young, but provide ways to help them focus while they listen.
Let them draw, play with legos or blocks quietly, or make it tea time and let them eat snacks and sip tea.
Just a few of our favorite longer, read aloud, books are: “The Little House on the Prairie” books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, the “Ramona” books by Beverly Cleary, “The Hobbit” by JRR Tolkien, “The Chronicles of Narnia” series by CS Lewis, “Caddie Woodlawn” by Carol Ryrie Brink, “A Secret Garden” by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and “My Side of the Mountain” by Jean Craighead George, “Charlotte’s Web” by EB White and “A Cricket In Times Square” by George Seldon.
More wonderful titles of read aloud books for the early years can be found here and here.
(look under “Free Reading”

Take them to story time at the library.
Check out heaps of books at the library each week–make it a special day.
Just remember to return them!
Visit libraries with beautiful children’s sections and soak in the loveliness devoted to books.

Visit book stores and spend time reading new books.

Listen to audio books often.
When you are too tired to read aloud without falling asleep, or need to make dinner let them listen to audio books.
Listen to audio books in the car.
You’ll be amazed at their capacity to listen to challenging books this way.
Good narrators are the key to holding your child’s attention for longer, more complicated stories.
You can find some quality, free audio books on Librivox here (just make sure you preview the narrator and choose books with only one narrator instead of multiple narrators )
Or invest in an Audible membership.
It has been an invaluable resource for our family.

Learning Activities:
There are so many activities you can do every day with your child that have nothing to do with work sheets or sit down lessons.
And yet, they will be learning so much.

Here are a few of our favorites in the kitchen:
Cooking
Baking (and sharing baked goods with neighbors and friends)
Making home made play dough
Reading cookbooks for inspiration and trying new recipes
Learning to unload the dishwasher
Learning to wash dishes by hand
Learning to set the table
Making grocery lists
Sprouting beans, potatoes and avocado seeds

Favorite activities around the home:
Playing with blocks–building towers and roads and cities
Playing with Legos
Drawing
Painting
Sculpting with Clay
Cutting and glueing
Stringing beads, noodles, or cereal
Creating a nature notebook to record the discoveries we make while out in nature
Draw maps of the house and neighborhood
Making dioramas
Making forts
Playing dress up
Playing store, family, restaurant, post office, farmers market–the options are endless
Writing letters to family and friends
Singing–we learn the days of the week, the months of the year, our phone number and address, and many bible verses by singing them. Music is a great tool for memorization
Learning to care for the home–dusting, washing windows, cleaning baseboards and door frames, sweeping, and washing floors. Young kids love chores!

Favorite activities outside the home:
Building forts
Hammering and nailing
Drawing with chalk (full disclosure–my kids love chalk, I don’t. So messy, so…chalk dusty)
Riding bikes, scooters, skateboards, and skates–physical activity and developing coordination is so important
Climbing trees
Nature walks –now is the time to train your children to hike. Start slow and build up their endurance as they grow stronger. You’ll be giving them a life long gift!
Field trips–go on at least one a week. Make it a priority to make the world your classroom
Visiting nature centers, the beach, wetlands, wilderness parks, mountain trails, desert trails and anywhere else where they can run, climb, and see birds, plants, trees and animals.
Visiting museums of all sorts
Collecting rocks, sticks, bugs, wild flowers, and anything else they find out in nature
Use their grocery list to shop at the store
Try new foods at the farmers market
Find different kinds of architecture around your town and visit it
Draw in nature, at the art museum, or at a cafe
Plant a garden or just some seeds in a pot
And I’m sure there are so many more things you can do with your kids in the first years of school.
But I hope this is a good place to start!

One last thing.
Please remember that one of the best things about home schooling is that education can be tailored to fit each child.
That means if you have a child who is ready to read early, you teach him!
And if he just wants you to read aloud to him because he isn’t ready to do it himself, you read aloud to him!
There are kids who love worksheets and you should let them do some.
Others would rather die than fill our worksheets.
So have them practice writing in ways that isn’t so painful for them–draw in the sand, or steam up the mirror in the bathroom and write their name.
In the end it is up to you to know your child and what lights that fire of learning in his heart.
Be the match and get that fire going!
Cheers to the early years!

Strategies For Successful Home Schooling

I want to start by getting something out in the open: sometimes following your heart means losing your mind.
You might be laughing when you read this, but I think it is actually a really important truth about home schooling.
Because at one point or another, we’ve all felt like we’ve lost our mind. Right?
The thing is, home schooling is a journey of the heart.
You have chosen to home school because you believe it is best for your kids.
You are following your heart.
But we all know it isn’t easy.
Home schooling can sometimes be lonely, and scary, and disheartening.
Occasionally home schooling just makes you crazy.
Because you are with your kids All.The.Time.
There are going to be days when you you’ll want to hide in the bathroom, praying that you don’t cuss in front of the kids, or fall on the floor in a heap sobbing.
The truth is, home schooling is hard work.

But it is good work.
And friends, on those hard days, I want you to remember this: home schooling is your calling.
It is no accident that you are a home schooler.
God has placed the desire to home school in your heart.
And even when you feel ill-equipped, uninspired, and full of doubts, He will help you fulfill this task He has called you to do.
 

I want to tell you a story about my mom.
My mom was one of the early home schoolers.
She was one of the pioneers.
She didn’t have a teaching credential, or even a college degree.
She had a high school diploma and a whole lot of doubts about home schooling her kids.
But she jumped in anyway, because God put the call to home school in her and my dad’s heart.

Home schooling looked quite a bit different at that time.
For example, there were very few options for curriculum.
And in our town there was one, small, home schooling group to join.
There wasn’t a lot of information about different ways to home school, and if there was, it was hard to find.
So my mom did the best she could with what she had.
The style of education she gave me and my brother wasn’t my favorite, especially at the beginning.
But we made it work, and mostly, she let me read a whole lot.
And that was my favorite.
By 8th grade I was writing my own lesson plans and thriving under the freedom that home school allowed me.

But those first years were really hard.
Despite the assurance that they were doing the thing they had been called to do, the commitment to home school added stress to an already difficult situation.
My dad’s business was failing.
My older brother and sister were getting in all kinds of trouble–some of it serious.
My little brother and I missed our friends at the private school we’d been attending.
And a lot of our family and friends didn’t understand, or even support, home schooling.
But with my dad’s encouragement, my mom pressed on.

I never really thought about it then, but I’m sure there were plenty of times when she was scared and lonely.
I’m sure it was hard.
Now that I’m the one home schooling, I realize how brave she was.
In the eyes of the world, my mom could not have been less qualified to teach her kids.
But she followed her heart and she did her best.
That is really all any of us can do.

t’s true that home schooling is more mainstream now that it was when my mom started.
But we are still educating our kids differently than most people.
We are on a unique path.
And now that you’ve decided on this path, you need to be able to explain why.
Why are you home schooling your kids?
Because there are going to be hard days.
There might even be hard weeks, or hard years.
One of your kids is going to struggle with reading.  Or math.
Your family isn’t going to support you.
You’ll have friendships that will change because you home school and they don’t.
And in the midst of those hard times, you need to be able to remember exactly why you are on this journey.
You need to know why you decided to be a pioneer instead of choosing the more comfortable, well traveled path.

My mom chose home schooling because she was unsatisfied with the education my older brother and sister received and she wanted something better for my younger brother and I.
I chose to home school  because I loved the home school experience I had and wanted to share it with my kids.
And secondly, I chose home schooling because I wanted to be an integral part of their learning experience–I wanted to be the one learning with them every day, not someone else.  In a way, I am too jealous to share their learning years with anyone else. I love to be with them.
I want to offer them the very best education I can, and I truly believe it is an education that can be found at home with me.

This quote by Charlotte Mason really sums up the hopes I have for my kids as I home school them.
 

So now I want you to think, “why am I doing this?”
What are the reasons your heart has led you to this place?
Come up with your answers.
And write them down.
Then, on those hard days that are bound to come, you can look at those reasons and be encouraged that you are doing what you are meThis is the first step I took in my own home schooling journey. Before I even had kids, before I was married, before I was dating, I knew why I wanted to home school my kids. It was my foundation.

 

In the 9 plus years that I’ve been home schooling,
I’ve watched a lot of my friends start home schooling and stop.
I’m not judging them–home schooling is not an easy thing to stick with .
But since it is my hope and plan to home school my kids all the way through high school, I need to be practical and proactive about how to make that happen.

I know the why, but that is just the first step.
We can’t just bumble along and hope everything will turn out great.
Instead, we need to arm ourselves with the tools to achieve the success we’re after.

Here are 3 things that have served me well as I’ve walked this windy home school road. And I hope that, whether you are a beginning home schooler or a seasoned veteran, they will help you too.
1. Develop your philosophy of education.
You need to choose to teach in a style and methodology that you love. If you love it, then you’ll be excited about it. And that excitement will translate to your kids as you teach them. Don’t just go with what your friends are doing or what seems easiest or safest.  Do some research and listen for the thing that speaks to your heart. And then follow that. You need to be passionate about this. Otherwise it will be a real struggle for you, and therefore your kids. Teach in the way that excites you!

2.  Become part of a group.
By its very nature, home schooling is isolating. You are home alone with your kids day in and day out. You need to social outlet.
You need to talk with friends, share ideas, commiserate when its hard, and learn alongside them.
This group is different than your regular group of friends.
It needs to be women who are on the same home schooling journey that you are.
Not that you must abandon other friendships.
But you are going to need people in your life who understand exactly what you are going through.
You should see your group more than once a month.
Ideally, you should see them every week.
It will save your sanity. Trust me.

I prayed hard for the Lord to bring a supportive group into my life.
At first I knew no one who was home schoing. But in time, He brought those people. And He brought them in abundance! I was faithful to follow the call and He was faithful to answer my prayers.

3.  Time for you.

You need to regularly schedule time for yourself. This is a hard one for us moms. We don’t want to admit we need a break. We think we can do it all. But we can’t.  We need time to recharge.
And once we’ve found the thing that fills us up best, we need to not feel guilty about making it a part of our lives.
You will be better able to serve your family if you allow yourself some time away from them. 

You need to be a mom who isn’t bitter about her time with her kids. You need to want to be with them. And you need to want to be with your husband, rather than saying something like,” if one more person touches me today I’ll scream,”  when he reaches for your hand.
He doesn’t want an always frazzled wife. You need his support.
So take time for you, and you have more to give to all of them.

I’m sure none of this information is new or groundbreaking. But these things have all been helpful to me so far. And I truly hope they will help you as well.
Because in the end, we need to remember that the struggles will come.
But with our end goal in mind, and with supportive friends to help us, we can keep climbing the mountain and not give up. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Much love and support to my fellow home schooling mamas.
Remember, I believe in you, and I am for you!
And far more importantly, God is for you.
Best,
Greta

Home Schooling 101: Creating a Learning Culture in Your Home

This is part of a series called Home Schooling 101.
My goal with this series is to share my thoughts and ideas in response to the many questions I get about home schooling.

Please know that I do not consider myself some kind of home schooling expert.
After all, I have only been home schooling my kids for 9 years.
However, since I was home schooled myself, and then taught in a public high school, I do have a unique perspective to offer.
And the longer I home school, the more reading and research I find myself doing about it.
Because I am passionate about home schooling.
I’m interested in it.
I care about it.
I’m excited about it!
And I truly want success for other families on this journey.
With these posts I hope to share my passion and excitement for this amazing kind of education with you.

As I thought about how to start this series, I kept coming back to things people ask me often.
One of the most common questions I get is “what does your school day look like?”, and “how do you organize your school day?”
This seems like a great place to start when you are a new home schooler, or wanting to make some changes in the way you do things.
But I’d like to encourage you to look beyond simply setting up a schedule, creating a routine, or finding your rhythm.

Because I bet you already have a routine or rhythm happening in your home.
You and your kiddos wake up at roughly the same time every day.
You eat a similar breakfast, and lunch every day, and probably snacks too.
Your kids nap, or have quiet time, and like to play the same games and read the same books day after day..
You have created a daily routine in your home, and perhaps you weren’t even aware of it.

Now maybe you want to change the routine and rhythms yo’ve fallen into and create ones that serve your family better.
That is a beautiful goal.
I think most, if not all of us, could find new, better ways to manage our days.

However, I think it is wise to separate the routine of our home from the culture of our home.
Especially in terms of education and learning.
Your routines or rhythms are the order in which you do things,
But your culture is much bigger than that.
Your culture is your values and beliefs, your customs, and your ways of doing things.
Your culture determines why you do the things you do, and then, how you do them.

So when think of yourself as an educator, and your home as your classroom or school, you need to ask yourself, “what is the learning culture in our home?”
What educational concepts and beliefs do we value?
And then you can ask yourself “do our school habits and customs reflect those values?”
And finally, you can look at your school days and routines and ask, “how can we arrange our school days so that they reflect the learning culture we want in our home?”
Do you see how creating your rhythm and routine can flow naturally from the learning culture you create?

Let me give you an example.
In our home, we start almost every school day with Bible/devotional time, hymn singing, and poetry.
Those things are all of great value to me and I want the things they represent to be a continual part of our learning culture.
I started this routine with my children when we began school, and they were 5, 3 and 1.
This has become one of our school customs–it is a part of our classroom culture.
No one is embarrassed to sing hymns together as we sit around the dining room table.
Even when we sing off key and acapella.
No one is uncomfortable listening to poetry and talking about it.
Because that is what we have always done.
Because I established it as part of our learning culture, it quickly became something we all look forward to and enjoy as the start of our school days.

But if I had never started school that way before, and then suddenly did, it might feel strange and awkward at first.
That’s OK!
If you are embarking on creating new customs or changing the learning culture in your home, that change is hard.
Change takes time.
And you need to give plenty of grace while things are new.

If you don’t feel ready to change the learning culture in your home because you haven’t thought about it before, take some time to do so.
A great place to start is to pray for wisdom.
Then talk to your spouse and see what he values.
You may be surprised to find there are things he thinks important that you don’t. (I was!)
You could read up on some of your favorite educational philosophies. (I’m currently reading “Consider This” by Karen Glass and it is rocking my world.  I also love "For the Children's Sake"  "Educating the Whole Hearted Child"  "A Charlotte Mason Companion" and "Teaching From Rest"
I also like to meditate upon quotes like this one, and think how they can be best reflected in the learning culture of our home. “We wish to place before the child open doors to many avenues of instruction, and delight, in each of which he should find quickening thoughts.” Charlotte Mason
But if that sounds overwhelming, you can start by simply thinking about the things you value in your children’s education.

Here are just a few of the key educational/learning values I’ve used to shape our school culture:
equipping my kids to become life long learners
cultivating an appetite for discovery, adventure, and exploration
encouraging my children to work until something is done to its best, instead of to a grade
learning subjects like history, science and geography through narrative literature
taking learning outside the classroom and into the world as often as possible
to learn by experience and not just from books
studying and experiencing nature to grow our connection and love to and for the Creator
exposing my kids to much beauty (art, poetry, music, and nature) in order to cultivate a life long love for those things and a desire to make their world more beautiful
having fun!

As I said, these are just a few of the things I value and have attempted to make a part of the learning culture in our home.
But they have all impacted how I teach my kids, the way I schedule our days (lots of field trips!) the curriculum we use, how we learn science, and even having things like an afternoon tea time and studying art history.
Creating your learning culture truly impacts the way you teach your children.
Of course, your list will look different than mine.
And some of it will change over time as you learn and grow and as your children do too.
The important thing is to mindfully think about the learning culture of your home and then to take steps to create the culture you long for.

I know I use this quote so often, but it truly is a guiding principle in my home education journey as well as a pillar of our learning culture.
 

Friends, we have an amazing opportunity to create a learning environment in which our kids will grow and learn and thrive. So before you figure out your daily schedule, figure out what kind of learners you want them to be, and what kind of learning you want them to be doing.  Creating a learning culture that is unique to your family and children is such gift.  Make the most of it!

Love from,
Greta

Learing to Love Nature through literature

Learning to Love Nature Through Literature
A Booklist by Greta Eskridge

Picture Books:
Mrs. Rumphius by Barbara Cooney
The Big Snow by Berta Hader
A Tree is Nice by Janice May Udry
Good Night Owl by Pat Huchins
The Little Island by Margaret Wise Brown
Make Way For Ducklings by Robert McCloskey
The Burgess Bird Book and other books by Thorton Burgess
A Seed is Sleepy by Dianna Aston
One Small Square by Donald Silver
Time of Wonder by Robert McCloskey
The Little House by Virginia Lee Burton
The Carrot Seed by Ruth Krauss
Owl Moon by Jane Yolen
The Golden Book of Birds

Books for Older Readers:
The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
Heidi by Johanna Spyri
The Girl From the Limberlost by Gene Stratton Porter
The Wind and the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
Mandy by Julie Andrews
My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George
The Chronicles of Narnia C.S. Lewis
Anne of Green Gables and many other books by Lucy Maud Motgomery
The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
James Herriot’s Treasury for Children
All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot
The Hobbit by J. R R Tolkien
Charlotte’s Web by EB White
Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls
Danny, Champion of the World by Roald Dahl
Little Britches by Ralph Moody
Caddie Woodlawn by Carol Ryrie Brink
Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O Dell
The Call of the Wild by Jack London
Swiss Family Robinson by Johann David Wyss
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
Birds Every Child Should Know by Neltje Blanchan
Pagoo by Holling Clancy Holling
Paddle to the Sea by Holling Clancy Holling
John Muir’s Book of Animals by John Muir
Birds of the Air by Arabella Buckley
Cubby In Wonderland by Frances Joyce

Poetry:
“September” by Helen Hunt Jackson
“Robin Redbreast” by William Allingham
“The Eagle” by Alfred Lord Tennyson
“The First Snowfall” by James Russell Lowell
“The Rooks” by Jane Euphemia Browne
“May Day” by Sara Teasdale
“Maker of Heaven and Earth” by Cecil Frances Alexander
“A Thanksgiving” by John Kendrick Bangs
“The Use of Flowers” by Mary Howitt
“Over in the Meadow” by Olive A. Wadsworth
“Silver” by Walter de la Mare
“Fog” by Carl Sandburg
“The First Bluebird” by James Whitcomb Riley
“Bird Song” by Laura Richards
“Hurt No Living Thing” by Christina Rossetti
“Daffodowndilly” by Christina Rosesetti
“Autumn” by Emily Dickonson
“At the Zoo” by William Makepeace Thackeray
“October’s Party” by George CooperTrees by Sara Coleridge

A few of my favorite books to use for research during nature journaling:
The Laws Guide to Nature Drawing and Journaling by John Muir Laws
The Burgess Bird book by Thornton Burgess
The Burgess Sea Shore book by Thornton Burgess
The Burgess Animal book by Thornton Burgess
The Laws Field Guide to the Sierra Nevada by John Muir Laws
Pagoo by Holling Clancy Holling
Minn of the Mississippi by Holling Clancy Holling
Sea Bird by Holling Clancy Holling
John Muir’s Book of Animals by John Muir
Nature Anatomy by Julia Rothman
Farm Anatomy by Julia Rothman
Animalium by Jenny Broom
Golden Nature Guides
How and Why Wonder books

“He doesn’t despise the real woods because he has read of enchanted woods; the reading makes all real woods a little enchanted.” 
CS Lewis
 

///This blog post is best read after listening to with my interview about books and nature on one of my favorite podcasts, Read Aloud Revival.
You can listen to Sarah and I talk books in episode 62, available here.///

One of the most important parts of the education I am giving to my kids is nature study. Now I know you won’t find nature study in any of the SAT prep classes, and you can’t take nature study as a college prep class either. And I am certain most people would not consider it an academic pursuit. But there are so many reasons why I incorporate nature study into my children’s education, and academics are just one of them.

First of all, I use nature study to cultivate a love for the natural world in my kids. I firmly believe that a love for nature will have a positive influence on them for the rest of their lives. Loving nature will give them a place of peace and refreshment in a busy world. Rather than seeking out those things elsewhere, perhaps in ways that are not even healthy, they will already know the quiet joy and tranquility that comes from a walk in the forest, or by hearing the crash of waves. That is a lasting gift.

Spending time in nature also teaches my kids the habit of curiosity and observation.  They notice new things and wonder about them every time we are out in nature.  Those are precious qualities to grow in my kids that will spill over into every other part of their life.

A love for nature will also cause a respect for it. And raising kids who respect nature is a passion of mine. That respect will grow into a passion for caring for nature and for preserving it.  We need kids who see themselves as stewards of this beautiful earth God created.

And that brings me to the most important reason I pursue nature with my kids; cultivating a love for nature will bring my children closer to the Creator of nature.
I’ve seen it in my own life.
I know God better by spending time in His creation. And I know Him further by studying His creation.
Through nature, God comforts me, and brings me immense joy.
He reminds me of His power, His majesty, His goodness, His care, and His creativity. Every time we are out in nature, we see God. It continually points us back to Him.
Of all the gifts nature has to offer my kids, I believe this one is the greatest.

And so I work hard to constantly and consistantly fill our lives with nature. From simply spending time in the back yard, to weekly hikes in places close to home, and bigger trips to the grandest, most beautiful nature spots we can get to. I try to seep their lives in nature.

It takes work.
It takes planning. It takes gas. Iit takes time. It takes us away from our school books. Iit takes getting dirty, getting tired, getting frazzled, and carrying a baby, and maybe a toddler, on my body. For years.
It takes sacrifice.

Now maybe you are reading this and you are nodding in your head in agreement, while at the  same time your heart is sinking.
“I don’t have those things,” you think.
“I don’t have a back yard.”
“We can’t spare the gas money.”
“I have no one to go hiking with.”
“I hate getting dirty.”
“We don’t have grand, natural spaces at our fingertips.”
“I can’t do this.”
Oh but friends, yes you can!

Perhaps it will look different for you than it does for me, but that is OK!
You can offer nature to your kids in the way that works best for you.
You may see only the roadblocks, barring your way to experiencing nature with your kids.
But there is a way, if only you will look at it differently.

I love this quote by Richard Louv, author of Last Child in the Woods.
He says, “If you can’t live in the land you love, love the land you’re in.”

That quote really resonates with me because I have had a love for and a longing for nature for as long as I can remember.  Yet, I grew up going camping only a handful of times, and we never had anything remotely like a weekly, or even monthly hike.
My mom was not what you’d call “outdoorsy”.
She loved and appreciated nature, but in a comfortable, more controlled way.
Like bird watching from the living room, or working in the garden.
She did not enjoy outdoor adventures, unless my dad was along.
And even then, they often made her nervous and stressed her out.
And she didn’t like dirt–on her, on us, or in the house.
She also had extensive back injuries that often made physical activity very difficult for her.
So I can’t recall her ever taking us on a hike.
 

And even if all those things weren’t standing in her way, our family was often strapped for money. So the extra money needed for long drives to spots of natural wonders, often just wasn’t available.
Many times my dad took our only car to work, so then we couldn’t even drive to nearby nature spots.
When my dad did have time, he took us on bike rides on country roads, out hiking, and to the beach as often as he could.
But it was never as much as I longed for.

As a result, I spent countless hours in the empty field across the street from our house. In spring, I had picnics hidden in the tall grass, with only the sky for my ceiling.  I loved to feel the wind in my hair and the sun on my cheeks as I picked golden, California poppies to bring to my room. I filled it with the nature I so loved.
I spent hot, summer afternoons, reading or playing dolls in the cool shade of our avocado trees.  Or up in the tree forts my brother, Dad, and I would build in its branches.
In fall, there were no trips to see the autumn color. But I’d gather leaves from the sweet gum trees in our neighborhood, and press them in my books.
I convinced my friends to join my sea shell club.
I collected rocks.
I interacted with nature in whatever ways I could.

And when I look back on those days of my unfulfilled longing for backpacking trips, and tide pool explorations, I see that some of my most significant interactions with the natural world, came not from time actually spent in nature, but from reading about it in books. The books I read were full of characters who loved nature as much as I did. And they were written by authors who knew about the natural world, and made it an important element in their books.
Those books filled a void in my nature hungry soul. They fanned the flame and fed it at the same time.

Books are an incredible way to bring nature into your child’s life. Especially if those road blocks are up, making your access to nature more difficult.
And if you are a family that already makes nature outings a regular part of your life, then reading books where nature plays an important role will only enhance your time outdoors.

“A good book is a magic gateway into a wider world of wonder, beauty, delight, and adventure.  Books are experiences that make us grow, that add to our inner stature.”  Gladys Hunt.

Reading these sorts of books introduced me to nature I might never have know otherwise. When I read The Yearling, I learned the names and characteristics of the flora and fauna of central Florida. Never in my life had I seen a swamp, or the dance of the whooping cranes, but after reading that beautiful book, I knew those places.
Nor had I been to the moors of England.  But after reading The Secret Garden, I could feel their wild, cold, loneliness every winter, and their warmth and life in the spring.

Reading these books grew my love for nature in mighty ways. I began to look at plants, trees, and animals with new eyes. I wanted to know their names, just as they were named in the books I read. I can identify with the girl Richard Louv describes in his book: “One of my students told me that every time she learns the name of a plant, she feels as if she is meeting someone new. Giving a name to something is a way of knowing it.”  I wanted to know more about the world around me. In the end, my love for literature did more for me than encourage a love for nature.  It taught me about nature, and incited a passion in me to learn more.

I suppose you could say I am now living out my childhood dreams with my own children as we adventure and learn together in nature. I am extremely grateful that I get to give this kind of life to them.
I could use our time spent outdoors as all I offer them in the way of nature study. We do a lot. And combined with nature journaling the discoveries we make while expiring, it could be enough. But given my childhood experience of reading literature that filled my head and heart with a different kind of natural experience, I am careful to offer that to my kids as well.
In fact, I’d be hard pressed to decide if I derive more joy from sharing these favorite books with them or actually exploring nature with them. So I make sure we do both!

One of the ways I enhance our learning experience while we read, is to nature journal through our books.  As we read, I ask the kids to listen for the names of plants and animals.  I’ll jot them down when we come across them. Later, we will look those things up in our field guides or on the internet. Once we have identified them, they will draw the in their nature journals.  In this way, we interact with flowers, trees, bugs, birds, and animals that are not part of our everyday life. Nature journaling through books has been an incredible way to expand our nature experiences.

If you are anxious to introduce your family to the wonders of nature that can be found in literature, you’re in luck! Because I’ve created a booklist just for you!
I’m including poetry that inspires a love for nature, some favorite picture books, and a larger list for the growing readers.
I hope these books give you all the joy and passion for nature that they’ve given to my children and to me.
Happy reading!

///You can also find me talking about books and nature often on my instagram feed
And in almost every episode of my podcast At Home.
Check them both out for more inspiration!///

Greta's Book Talks: A Merry Mouse Book of Favorite Poems

Hello book lovers!
I haven’t forgotten you, or my promise of more book posts.
That’s right.
It’s time for another edition of “Greta’s Book Talks”.
Today’s book was a childhood favorite of mine. The book was actually a gift to my little brother, but I was immediately drawn to it when he opened it on his birthday. I remember studying the illustrations carefully as a little girl. Then, when I was old enough to read it to myself, I read the poems inside over and over again.
 

“A Merry Mouse Book of Poems” was illustrated by Priscilla Hillman. I found very little info about her online. Just a list of other sweet mouse books she wrote and illustrated. All of which I want to purchase right now.Her illustrations are charming and very sweet. They’re warm and remind me a bit of Holly Hobby. Remember her?

The poems selected to go with each illustration are poems a young listener or reader will enjoy. They are approachable. Some are fun, or tender. Some are sweet or silly or romantic. Like I said, I was immediately captivated by this book as a child. And to this day, I still feel all the warm feelings when I look at it.

If you have a little animal lover in your house, this book would be perfect for them. Or if you are looking for an introductory poetry collection, this is ideal. I’m sharing more of the poems and illustrations from the book in my instagram stories. (only up for the next 24 hours!)
And I’ll be posting all of my book talks here on my blog so you can easily find them with quick links to Amazon.
I got yo back like that.

As always, I’m so glad to share some of my favorite books with you! Next week I’ll share some Thanksgiving favorites. Cause it’s going to be November, people! 

Here are the some of the other books written and illustrated by Priscilla Hillman.
A Merry Mouse book of Months
A Merry Mouse Christmas ABC
A Merry Mouse book of Nursery Rhymes
A Merry Mouse School House

 

Have fun reading friends!
Love from,
Greta

How to Create a Bible Study for Girls

My daughter, Lilly, has always wished she had a sister. And I have always wished a sister for her. But for whatever reason, that wasn't the plan God has had for her.  So I told her early and often that just because she didn't have a sister by blood didn't mean she couldn't have sisters still. I told her there'd be girls in her life whom she'd love like sisters. I told her God would give her sister friends to fill that empty spot in her heart.

And then I purposed to find a way to help her build those relationships. Because we all know that relationships don't just happen. They take intentionality and effort. They take time and thought. Relationships take work.

For years now it's been my plan to have a Bible study for Lilly and her girl friends. I'm a dreamer, so I imagined it would be a group of friends who she’d grow up with, from the pre-teen years all the way through the teen or college years. I dreamt of deep relationships, deep talks, and deep laughs. I dreamt of sharing prayer requests and ice cream sundaes. I dreamt of service projects, tea parties, and girls camping trips.  I knew this could be the place where Lilly found the sisters she’s dreamt of.

As Lilly and her girl friends approached the preteen years, it felt like the right time to start this long awaited Bible study. And in the few short months we’ve been meeting, I’ve already seen many of the dreams I had for the group coming true. We’ve gathered. We’ve talked. We’ve laughed. We’ve served. We’ve eaten, sang, prayed, and danced.
It is always such a sweet time. 

Leading a Bible study like this isn’t new to me. I spent all of my teen years and early 20s leading Bible studies just like this one. With groups of girls sitting on my bed or living room floor, braiding hair and talking about our relationship with Jesus. I loved it so much. I took a break when my kids were all small. I'm so very glad to be doing this again. Spending time with kids, be they little ones or growing up ones, are just my favorite.
 
Leading this girls Bible study also reminds me of how much God cares about me. And Lilly. I’m reminded that He knows all our heart's longings and that they matter to Him.
I am reminded that God is for us. 

 

And now, since I've gotten lots of questions about how I run this girls Bible study, I am going to do my best to answer those questions. It is my sincere hope that you will find inspiration here to create your own girls Bible study. There is something wonderful about making a space where girls can cultivate deep, meaningful relationships with each other and with a caring adult, all centered around the word of God!

To get you started, here are the details on how I set the study up and how we spend our time together.

1. Ages of girls in the study: the girls in the group are ages 9-12. It was important to me to begin this group before the girls were all teens. It's my hope that by establishing relationships before they're teens we can avoid some of the self consciousness and awkward feelings that sometimes come with teenhood. So that when they are all teens, we have grown comfortable with one another and our group feels like a safe and warm place to be.
I also wanted the girls to be old enough to actually study the word of God. That’s why I didn’t start at age 5 or 6. I wanted them to have a bit more of an attention span, and the ability to tackle some tougher ideas.
So far it's been a dream. They are delightfully fun and innocent and silly and sweet. But also interested in discussing the Bible and their faith.
The mixed ages is also proving to be a blessing as the older girls are leaders for the younger ones.

2. How often we meet: we meet once a month on a Sunday afternoon. We're together about 2 hours. I'm sure it could be much longer! They always want more playtime after bible study time is done. I’d also love to meet more than once a month. But at this time, that is all we can commit to. And I am happy to have it!

3.  Where we meet: for convenience sake we meet at my house each time. It makes it one less thing to remember for the mamas. And brings a feeling of continuity for the girls.
Is this a sacrifice for me and my family? Yes, it is.
I like to have the house tidy (not clean but at least tidy) and snacks for the girls. My husband and boys need to be out of the way because I don’t want the distraction of the boys around the house. So Aaron often takes the boys out somewhere while the girls and I have our study. He doesn’t mind a bit because we’re both committed to creating this for our daughter and her friends.  It helps to have his support. And clearly, it is worth these small sacrifices to have this group form.

4. What we study: right now we are doing topical studies anchored in a lot of scripture. I asked the girls for topic ideas and from that list I’m trying to choose the topics that are applicable to their lives. As well as the ones that they can apply to their lives, putting their faith into action.
I write my own studies. They are fairly short, and I reference scripture, Bible stories, real life examples from my own life and theirs, as well as other books I know they've read. For example, one week in our study we talked about Little Women. Another week we talked about Laura Ingalls in the Little House books.  I often reference their own experiences with siblings or their parents. I try to make it personal and relatable to them.
Some of the topics we have covered so far are:
What a Christian Life Looks Like
Choosing Joy
The Power of Kind Words
Christian Service
What to do When We’re Worried
I do not have these studies available for you anywhere. Sorry! But after getting so many requests, maybe I need to think about it.
 

5. What else we do: we eat! I wanted the girls to feel like their time was modeled after the time they see their mamas spend together. And we mama always share good food. So I have snacks for the girls. Sometimes they bring snacks to share too.
We also share prayer requests and we sing. I want to sing more--need to brush off my guitar.

6. Incorporating Service Projects: its important to me that our Bible study group builds relationship with one another in lots of different ways. I also want the girls to put their faith in action. So I envisioned service projects being a part of our time together. Thus far, we’ve only participated in two service projects, but since we’ve only met together 5 times, I think that’s a good start.
The week we studied the power of kind words, we wrote notes of encouragement to a friend in need. Thus, putting the lesson we'd just studied into practice. I loved showing them that the simple act of sharing an encouraging word can make a powerful impact on a heart.
This past week we worked together to pack shoe boxes with simple gifts to send to children in need as part of Operation Christmas Child. It was powerful to pack and wrap the boxes, imagining the girl who would open them. We prayed together over each box, and the girl who would receive it. I shared with the girls that when they were 13 we could all work in the processing center for Operation Christmas Child, taking on a bigger role of service.
I’m not sure yet what our next service project will be. But I love thinking about the years ahead and all the ways these girls can serve God by serving others.

7. What I hope for the future: not surprisingly, I have big dreams. I imagine us meeting for years to come. For the girls to grow up together, entering womanhood as a band of sisters.  My vision for our group is not a Bible study only, but a group of girls who are richly involved in each other's lives spiritually, emotionally, and through time spent together doing a variety of activities. I dream of friendships rooted in relationship with God.
 

Like I said, I hope this both inspires and equips you to create a Bible study group for the girls in your life.
Here are a few Bible verses that further remind me why I am doing this:
 “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” Romans 12:13
“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.” Proverbs 3:27

“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” Hebrews 13:16

Love from,
Greta

You're Doing a Good Job Mama!

Motherhood. 
Its the hardest job and the greatest privilege.
This one is for all the mamas with littles.
I see you.

Yesterday I had 3 small kiddos at my house, in addition to my own 4. It was busy,. And thanks to the 6, 7 and 11 year old boys (2  of them mine) quite loud and crazy. They weren't being bad. They were just being playful boys.

The girls played quietly for hours.
But those boys..... I know all about busy boys.
But I'm still in awe of their stamina to play so hard, so loud, and for so long.
Boys are amazing. 😬😂❤️

But it was when I took our three guests out to run some errands with me that I took a walk back into my mommy days that are already fading from my memory.
We went to Trader Joe's. 
First of all, getting 3 kids in and out of car seats and boosters at every. single. stop. is super duper not fun. It adds hours to every stop. At least it feels like it. 

I forgot about that.

I forgot about walking through the store with little kids who are just being little kids and therefore a little lost in their own world and they sometimes get in people's way. And sometimes those people get annoyed and give you dirty looks. Or say something.

I forgot about that.

I forgot that you have to tell the kids to hold onto the cart so they don't wander off. But not to climb on the cart because those Trader Joe's carts tip over like crazy. It's happened to me twice. With a kid inside. (you can read that story here)
So I'm hyper vigilant about saying, "don't hang from the cart. Don't climb on the cart."
Over. And over. And over.

I forgot about that.

I forgot how distracting it is to have lots of little voices asking me questions and talking to me while I'm just trying to remember what's in my list.
I forgot how carefully I have to watch them in the parking lot. I can't trust them to watch for cars and cross safely all on their own.
I forgot that when you have littles with you running multiple errands in one trip is exhausting. So if you need just that one thing from that one store you're like, "forget that. I'll go tonight when Daddy gets home."

I forgot about it all.

You see, I don't have to take my kids shopping with me anymore. 
I can leave them at home with the 13 year old. Or I can leave them in the car listening to an audio book while I run in for that one thing real fast.
And even on the rare occasion when I have to take them all to the store with me, the only one who is a little bit exhausting is the 6 year old. The rest of them are old enough that they know how to walk through the parking lot safely, and not get in people's way in the aisles, or hang from the cart.
I'm in a different place.
It's a whole lot easier.

And it's made me forget about the days when I went to the store with a newborn strapped to my chest, a 3 year old in the cart and a 5 and 7 year old holding onto each side of the cart. 
Mamas, those were days of hard work. And I know some of you are smack dab in the middle of those days right now.
And you're frazzled and you're tired because you are training your kids to just be grownup humans at the grocery store.
And sometimes you think you might lose your mind in the process.

Not because they're bad. But just because they're little kids.
And little kids want to run and jump and twirl and climb and sing and pretend and dance and day dream down the aisles of the grocery store. And some people don't have any space for that kind of stuff, because they just want your kids to stay out of their way.
It can be exhausting.

So I want to tell you that you are doing a good job.
Such a good job.
Mothering in the little years is one of the most physically and emotionally exhausting things I have ever done. Looking back, I don't even know how I survived. But I did.
And you will too. 

But on those days when you're feeling especially burnt out, please remember I'm in your corner. I'm cheering you on and telling you that your work is meaningful and of great value. Even if all you are doing is taking your kids to the grocery store.
You are teaching them to be grownup humans.
And you are doing an absolutely marvelous job of it.

Keep on mama. 
Keep on
"Do not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up." Galatians 6:9

All my love to you mamas.
Greta

Love In the Hard Places

I share this to encourage and exhort you.
I want to encourage you if you feel alone in your hurting marriage.
You aren’t.
And I want to exhort you to not become complacent in your marriage.
Don’t be lazy.
Most of all, where ever you are at in your marriage, I hope you will adopt this posture toward your spouse: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8
In the everyday, in the little things, in the big things, in the dry spells, and the wonderful spells, love each other deeply.
It will be hard. It will challenge you. Sometimes it won’t be fair.
But it can change everything.

I wrote the following piece nearly 6 years ago.
Aaron and I were coming out of the most devastating time in our lives.
In the course of a year we had lost a baby and nearly lost our marriage.
By the grace of God, with gut wrenching hard work, and more tears than I ever care to cry again, we came out on the other side.
Miraculously, I got pregnant again with our 5th baby, and that pregnancy served as a daily reminder that real love, God’s love, is stronger than anything else in this world.
And while I would never have asked to walk through those trials, I can say now that they taught me the most important lessons I have ever learned.
In the darkest and loneliest of times, I found the love of a Heavenly Father who didn’t abandon me,  and in fact, loved me in a way more deep and true than I have ever known.
I found that real love is still there in the hard places.
That is where it matures, and becomes more beautiful.
That is where it is refined.
That is where it becomes real.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Yellow ranunculus always make me think about when I fell in love.
They were the first flowers Aaron ever brought me.
He was romantic from the very beginning.
He planned us picnics, surprised me with things like a train trip to visit the San Juan Mission and wrote me lots and lots of love letters.
He knew how to woo me.

We’ve been together now for almost 17 years.
Married for almost 13.
He still brings me flowers and writes me love letters.
And after taking a sabbatical from date planning, he’s back at it, and better than ever.
But truthfully, the way romance looks in our relationship has changed.
And I think it’s better now.
Because it is real.

Having a baby changes things.
It forces you to reveal your true self to your husband in a way you may never have before.
You get fat.
You get stretch marks.
You cry a lot and eat ice cream in bed.
You aren’t the girl he fell in love with, always wanting to hold hands and snuggle on the couch.
The 2 of you can’t even fit on the couch together anymore.
And then the baby comes and life changes even more.
Your man isn’t first in your life anymore; someone else has replaced him utterly.
And if he’s lucky, he might get some of the leftovers of you at the end of the day, but you will probably smell like spit up, and have greasy hair, and won’t want to be touched because you’ve had baby sucking on you all day long.

There was a moment I’ll never forget, when our first was a newborn, with his first ear infection.
I was a weeping, tired, and distraught new mommy.
Aaron did something far more romantic for me than bring home flowers.
He met me where I was and loved me.
As I sat on the couch, nursing James in the middle of the night for what seemed like the thousandth time, Aaron came in to the living room and asked if he could help.
Of course he couldn’t help!
Could he nurse the baby?
It was all on me.
I had to do everything.
By. My. Self.
Forever.
And we were all going to suffer while it happened.
I said some of those things to him, and thought others.

Aaron didn’t say, “fine!” and go back to bed.
Instead he sat down at my feet, picked them up and began to rub them.
The tears came instantly, and I sat on the couch, weeping, because I knew I wasn’t alone.
And he loved me when I least deserved it.
Real love is patient.
Real love is kind.

After William, our second, was born, I was in the hospital recovering from a c-section.
Aaron stayed with me the whole time and got to be a part of it all.
Even the parts that I never thought I’d let him be a part of.
After a c-section, you have to have a bowel movement before you can go home.
It’s a big deal.
I know,.
So romantic.
So, there I was, having my big moment, and Aaron was practically in the bathroom with me.
There was no hiding what was going on.
“Way to go babe!” he cheered for me from the adjoining room.
“How embarrassing,” I thought.
Later on, I had to ask him to come in the bathroom and change my pad because I couldn’t bend over.
Really. Really embarrassing.
Actually, I was mortified.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn’t need to be.
Because it was real.
Real life and real love are not always pretty.
Real love is caring for one another even when it’s gross, ugly, or you really don’t want to.
Real love is not self seeking.

Real love is holding your wife in the shower while the tears course down her cheeks and the blood courses down her legs, and you are losing your baby.
It is loving your husband even when you hate him.
Real love is hanging on, saying “I’m sorry”, saying “I forgive you”, and meaning it.
Real love perseveres.

I think about couples who have been married for 40 or 50 years.
I think of the good and bad they have experienced together.
I think of the ugly times and the beautiful times.
I see them together at the store sometimes, walking slowly, helping each other get the shopping done.
I saw them in my grandparents.
My grandma cared for my grandpa so lovingly when he could hardly hear anymore, or get out much.
She helped him to the bathroom and made him the meals he loved to eat.
She did it every day because she loved him.
Real love protects.

I am just beginning to really learn what that kind of love is.
And it is my greatest hope that someday Aaron and I will be walking slowly through the grocery store together, still holding hands, and still in love.
Real love.
 

Wishing you a love like that too.
Greta

Home Schooling 101: Creating a Book Club For Kids

The Beginnings
When I was a little girl, I longed for a book club of my own.
I had read about them in books.
My mom wasn’t a part of one, and out of all the other ladies and girls in my circle, there was only one I knew who was part of of book club.
She and I had talked about it at one of my brother’s baseball games.
She spoke of it with such pleasure, of making special food, and of vacuuming and cleaning her seldom used living room specially for the occasion.
Most importantly, she told me about how much fun it was to talk about books with her friends.
Her words went straight to my heart.
This was just what I longed for

And so I went into action and began to create my own book club.
I sent out invitations to a bunch of my girlfriends.
I suggested the book. (I only wish I could remember which one we read!)
On the big day I cleaned my room and made cookies.
And later that afternoon, my friends were dropped off by their mamas for our first book club.

We crowded into my tiny room, squished ourselves together on my bed,  just a bunch of giggly 4th and 5th grade girls.
I tried so hard to lead a book discussion.
But it wasn’t at all like I dreamt it would be.
Before too long most of the girls wanted to go outside to play.
I was slightly heartbroken.
But I vowed to press on.
They just needed time to learn what to do at book club.

By the next meeting there was mutiny afoot.
One of the girls and I got into a disagreement because she said I was too bossy and was trying to make them talk about the book too much.
“But its a BOOK club!” I cried. “And its MY book club! We’re supposed to talk about the book.  And you are supposed to do what I want at MY club!”
It was our last meeting.
And this time I truly was heart broken.
Clearly I needed some help in creating a book club for my friends.
Or maybe they just weren’t ready for a book club.
Maybe I was just ahead of my time.
(I was in 6th grade)

Knowing the tale of my childhood book club woes, you can understand why I couldn’t wait to start a book club for my own kids.
I planned to be a part of the process so it wouldn’t be a flop like my first book club was.
I wanted to give them the book club experience I had imagined for myself.
I wanted to introduce them to the joy of talking about books with their friends.
 

Because in the years between that failed book club, led by a bossy, 11 year old girl who was desperately in love with books, I had the good fortune to be a part of the kind of book discussions my 11 year old self dreamt of.
I had sat in literature classes where we talked about books for hours.
I had become part of book clubs with my friends, with coffee and good food, and genuine interested discussion.
I had moments in my English classes where more than 2 of the students cared about the book we were reading.
Where most of the kids in my class were involved in the conversation, interested, and excited about reading a book.
I had tasted the glory of book talks.
And I was ready to share it.

Thankfully I am a part of a home school group filled with moms whose hearts beat the same way mine does.
A few years ago, we decided to start a book club for our kids.

My kids and I missed the first two meetings.
But the first meeting we went to kind of blew me away.
We met on the beach in the middle of summer.
At lunch time we spread out a potluck lunch on a surf board, called the kids in from the water, and after they had loaded up plates, they settled down to talk about the book.
I was floored by the way every kid wanted to talk about the book.
They had so much to say!
Even the littlest ones did not want to be left out of the discussion.
Instead of a short, shallow, ‘pulling teeth” kind of discussion, it was rich, lively, fun, and went on for a long time.
Watching it all unfold made me happy and weepy and so excited about the years of rich literary discussions that lay ahead of us!
 

The Nuts and Bolts — How we organize our book club
Our book club has grown and blossomed rather organically.
But there were a few ideas we started with that have proved to very helpful in running our book club.
1. One family is the host for each book club.
That means that family chooses the book, picks the location for the discussion, plans the activities, and sends out an email asking each family to bring food to share, and other supplies for the day. We all pitch in to help, but she is the “event director”.
2. One mom facilitates the book discussion.
The same mom whose family is the book club host leads the book discussion.  That means she comes prepared with discussion questions and topics and helps guide the kids through the discussion time. Kids ages 3 to 13 participate in the discussion time, so a grownup facilitator helps a lot.
The idea is that by modeling how to have a book discussion, the kids will one day be ready to hold book discussions on their own.
3. We read classic literature.
This does not mean we are subjecting our kids to Beowulf or Canterbury Tales in the original Old English. But it does mean we are not choosing whatever is on the best seller list for that year. We generally use the free reading lists from Ambleside Online. (see some here, here and here.)
4. We have food at book club.
Books and snacks just go hand in hand. And book club is a celebration. And celebrations have special treats. So this was pretty much a no brainer. All the families bring food to share so the burden is NOT all on the host family.
5. We read 4 books a year.
In an effort not to keep ourselves sane, and to allow ourselves enough time to truly enjoy each book, we decided to read books on a seasonal schedule. That means we read one book for fall, winter, spring and summer. This is not to say that some families (ahem, mine) are not rushing to finish the book at the last minute.  But since you have 3 months to finish a book, you don’t have to cram it all in at the last minute.
6. Every family reads the books differently.
There is no set way to approach the reading. In some families each kids read the book on their own. In other families the book is read together as a family bed time read, or as part of school work. Other families might listen to the book on audio during drive time.  There are lots of ways to approach it, and no one way is better than the other.
In our family, we read the book together, because I don’t want to miss out on any of the books with my kids!
 

The Fun Extras: 
As time has gone on, our book club has bloomed beautifully. Here are some of the extras that make book club days even more fun.
1. We try to align food and activities to the book. 
This doesn’t always work, but often it does.  For example, when we read My Side of the Mountain, the kids brought tools and supplies to build a wilderness fort, just like Sam Gribley did in the book. And when we read Swiss Family Robinson, we planned a botanical scavenger hunt for the kids, where they looked for plants from the book in the botanical gardens where we held the meeting.
And when we read Alice in Wonderland, you can bet there were tea and scones.
2. We wear costumes.
Again, this is not always the case. But if  anyone has a costume that fits the time period or characters in the book, then costumes are very welcome!
3. We meet at special locations.
Living in California, we have the luxury of almost year round good weather. That means we can meet at outdoor locations. If we can, we try to make those locations connect to the book in some way. We’ve met at the beach, in a botanical garden, in a secret garden, in a wilderness park, and once we took the metro to China Town. Plus lots of other fun spots. Come winter, we might be forced indoors, but knowing our group of creative mamas, I’m sure it will still be just as magical.
4. We’re all in!
Its true, book club days are a bit of extra work. If you aren’t up for planning costumes, games, and lugging tables and buckets of tools across a park, you don’t have to. Book club could easily be a circle of kids on the floor, a plate of cookies, and a handful of rich discussion questions.
This is just the way our group functions. We view these days as a special treat and go out of our way to make them that way.
 

Giving kids a love of literature is a gift.
Giving kids a place to talk about the books they love and the tools to do it makes the gift even better.
I hope you’ll make book clubs a part of your children’s childhood.
How happy I’d be to know Kid Book Clubs were happening all over the world!
When you are contemplating the extra work and wondering if it is worth it, be encouraged by this beautiful quote from Gladys Hunt: “Reading enlarges my vision of the world; it helps me understand someone who is different from me. It makes me bigger on the inside. We tend to see the world from our own perspective; it is good to see it from the eyes of others. Good literature helps me understand who I am in relation to what others experience. Far from being an escape from reality, good literature is a window into reality. I read to feel life.”

For the love of books,
Greta

Resources
Books We've Read and Loved in Our Book Club:
A Little Princess
My Side of the Mountain
The Secret Garden
Treasure Island
Little Britches
Anne of Green Gables
Caddie Woodlawn
Robin Hood
Swiss Family Robinson
Johnny Tremain
Alice In Wonderland
Farmer Boy
Grayson
The Hobbit
 

A Thanksgiving Tale For the Weary Mom

I remember this day like it was yesterday. Davy was 5 months old, the others were 7, 5, and 3. Aaron had been out of town for work for 10 days and I was prepping to host 25 people at our house for Thanksgiving.
This particular morning I rounded up the children to head to Trader Joe’s to get the turkey and do all the shopping. This was nothing new, because as a home schooling mama, I took all my kids everywhere, all the time.

But just because I did it all the time doesn’t mean it was particularly easy. Trader Joe’s, in fact, was especially hard. Those aisles were narrow and no matter how many times I’d bark at the children, “single file! Single file!” they all liked to fan out in a horizontal line alongside me and the cart, effectively blocking any other shoppers from passing us.
It drove me crazy!

I broke out in a sweat on every TJs shopping trip, tried not to curse under my breath, and to smile with a saintly glow at the 50 + people who looked at me and said, “my! You have your hands full!”
Oh Trader Joe’s shopping trips with 4 little kids, you were so much fun. 

When we arrived, I didn’t put Davy in the cart like usual, but strapped him to me in the Ergo carrier. I’d need every inch of space in that cart for groceries. We started with the turkey, a big one for our crowd of guests. And we cruised the store, filling the cart to the brim, me telling the kids to “stop jumping, stop wrestling, no, we can’t get those chips, single file!” and all the rest. I also told Lilly, repeatedly, not to hang on the cart.

Those Trader Joe’s carts are notorious for tipping. It happened to me when William was a baby and James was hanging from the side of the cart. It was terrifying. And I lived in mortal fear of it happening again.
So of course, on that day, it did.

As I was reaching for some carrots, I heard a scream and turned to see Lilly falling to the ground with the full, heavy cart falling on top of her. I lunged for it, but wasn’t fast enough. Girl and cart hit the floor with a thud. The boys and I yelled, groceries flew everywhere, eggs broke, and Lilly wailed. I tried to lift the cart off of her and to keep the panic out of my voice as I asked if she was all right.
Kind employees and shoppers rushed to help and we lifted the cart off of her.
There was no blood, and nothing seemed broken, but she was crying.
I collapsed on the ground next to her, pulled her onto my lap and sat there, with a screaming Davy between us, the tears running down my cheeks, mingling with hers, and dripping on the floor.

I tried to stifle sobs.
I was so tired.
And scared.
And relieved.
And frustrated.
And embarrassed.
And mad.
And so grateful I had put Davy in the carrier that day.
But why did this all have to be so hard!?!

The boys huddled next to us, patting my back, trying to comfort me, scared because of all that had happened, and scared because Mommy was sitting on the floor in the middle of Trader Joe’s, crying.
In that moment, the weight of mothering all those little people felt far too heavy for me to bear.
It was just so never ending.
80 fingernails and toenails to cut and clean, who knows how many teeth to brush morning and night, children who didn’t nap anymore, sleepless nights, endless piles of laundry to do, bodies to scrub, thousands of Legos to clean up every single day, and even a simple grocery store trip that ended in disaster.
Sometimes I wanted to quit.

Have you been there?

Crying in the shower? Weeping under your covers or sobbing into your husband’s chest? I know I admitted to him more than once, “I feel like I’m suffocating.” and then felt terrible for saying it.
It’s hard, hard work, this job of mothering.

But I have good news.
It gets easier.
I’m not saying it is ever easy.
But those relentless, sometimes suffocating, early days will get easiER
There will come a time when your children can cut their own fingernails. Cue the angel chorus! There will be a day when you’ll say, “someone get in the shower!” and someone will. And they won’t even need you to wash them. They’ll wipe their own bums, and remember to wash their own hands. They’ll get their own snacks. And one sweet, sweet, day, you will be able to leave them at home while you run to the store for a minute all by yourself.

Now before you berate me for not enjoying every.single. second. of motherhood while my kids are young, understand that I enjoy much of it. Like a whole, whole lot of it. But I’m also OK with a little independence. Saying goodbye to diapers was not a sad day for me. Not bathing 4 kids every night feels pretty grand.
There are beautiful things about watching my kids grow up. From saying goodbye to those simple tasks that sometimes add up and feel overwhelming, to the much bigger and sweeter things, like deep conversations and seeing them become their own person.
Seasons change.
And that is a good thing, because if we were stuck in the same season forever, we’d become awfully weary of it.

For me, the physically exhausting years of early motherhood are beginning to fade. And even though there are parts of their babyhood that I’ll forever miss, I’m also really enjoying the spot we’re in now. There are challenges, to be sure. But there always will be. That is the nature of this job.

What I want you to know, all you mamas of littles, is that even though it’s hard to believe now, you’ll make it. And when you do, don’t get so comfortable in your new spot that you think you’ve got it all together. Or even worse, think to yourself that those new moms who are making a big deal out of every single thing are overreacting. And for heaven’s sake, don’t tell them to enjoy this moment because it will be so much harder when they’re teenagers.
Don’t. Just don’t.

Instead, remember that you were there once too. Think of what you needed to hear in that moment. Put yourself in their shoes. Smile at those moms in the grocery store when you see them looking frazzled or teary. Tell them they are doing good work. Just like I’m telling you that you are now.
Because you are.

So if you fall down, you can cry a little, but then get back up, and keep going.
Listen to me when I say, you are doing good work mama!
“Let us not grow weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9
Happy Thanksgiving to all you mamas and your little turkeys too!
Greta

Inspiring Your Reluctant Nature Journaler

It’s time for another Home Schooling 101 post!
This time I am tackling how to inspire your reluctant nature journaler.
If you are in a hurry, you can skip straight down to the how-to section near the end of the post.
You’ll find it under this heading:
“So what does it look like to offer freedom to your child as he nature journals?”
But I really hope you’ll take some time now, or later, to read through the rest of this article and really think about the WHY before you jump right to the HOW.
Its important to understand why we are doing things the way we do, and why we might need to change.
These are some of the things I’m discussing in this piece.
Please let me know what you think.
Thanks!
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

If you have spent any time reading about, learning about, or practicing a Charlotte Mason style education, then you’ve heard of nature journaling.
I mean, nature journaling is practically the holy grail of a Charlotte Mason education.
Nature journals, those beautifully sketched and painted pictures of bugs and wildflowers, acorns, and song birds–they’re what we all want our kids to create.
Nature journals are a Charlotte Mason educating mama’s street cred.
Or trail cred, as the case may be.

But what if you have a child who isn’t excited about nature journaling?
What about those unhappy moans every time you bring out that spiral bound notebook of 90 pound weight watercolor paper, the fine tip paint brushes, and the field guides for reference?
What if your child is a reluctant nature journaler?
What of your Charlotte Mason trail cred then?
Can you even be a Charlotte Mason home schooler with a reluctant nature journaler?
Or, can you not be a Charlotte Mason home schooler and still nature journal?

Yes mamas, you can.
Yes. You. Can!
I know, because I was a reluctant nature journaler myself.
And I get a fair amount of guff about it from some of my fellow Charlotte Mason mamas who love nature journaling and excel at it. (you know who you are)
So I write this post with a understanding for where your reluctant nature journaler is at.
And sympathy for his frustration with nature journaling.
And also with a bit of pointed playfulness.
Because I think sometimes we mamas/schoolteachers need to relax a little bit.
We need to remember that learning should be a thing of joy, not a chore or tear filled session of frustration.
We can’t get so caught up in the way things are supposed to be, that we lose sight of why we are doing them in the first place.

If you’ve read some of my pieces on home schooling, you know I am big on finding your why.
Often times we are so ready to get started, to see results, and to prove to ourselves that our kids are learning something, that we miss a very important first step.
Before we worry about how our kids should be nature journaling, and how their nature journals should look, we need to be clear on why we want them to nature journal.
Why does nature journaling matter?
 

And in order to answer that question, we first have to talk about nature study.
Because before nature journaling can happen, our children must engage in nature study.
Nature study is a truly unique and wonderful way to study the natural sciences.
It is one of the best ways I have found to make the subjects of biology, botany, physical geography, geology, entomology, and so many other “ologies” come alive, for both me and my kids.
Nature study is the close observation of many different subjects in nature.
It is the research and identification of the thing observed.
It is getting to know nature on an intimate level.
These are the reasons nature journaling matters.
And once nature study has happened, then nature journaling is the natural next step for continuing with the learning.

Let's delve into this WHY a little further and read what Charlotte Mason, our nature study guru, has to say about why nature study and nature journaling matter:
(taken from Volume One of the Charlotte Mason series found here)

“Adults should realize that the most valuable thing children can learn is what they discover themselves about the world they live in. Once they experience first-hand the wonder of nature, they will want to make nature observation a life-long habit. All people are supposed to be observers of nature and there’s no excuse for living in a world so full of amazing plants and animals and not be interested in them.”

“Besides appreciating the world, observing nature develops other mental powers–ability to focus, to tell things apart, to patiently seek answers. These things are useful in every facet of life.

“The ability to group things together by type and find differences is one of the higher orders of intellect, and every opportunity to use it first-hand should be encouraged. Learning classifications from a book takes no mental power, except maybe rote memory. If the skill of rote memory is deemed necessary, then the child might just as well memorize some phrases in a foreign language to satisfy that requirement!”

“Children can learn an unlimited amount of things that they’ll never forget before even beginning school. A child is ten times better off if he knows where to find the prettiest birch trees, or the four best ash trees in his neighborhood, than a boy who doesn’t even know the difference between an elm and an oak. He is not only likely to be more successful, but happier, too, because the beauty of nature affects our feelings. Dr. Carpenter said that, when our minds have contact with nature, our sense of sublime beauty and order is touched”

“A passion for natural objects can be like a wellspring of refreshment to a dry heart.”

Wow! That is some good stuff right there.
Let me summarize the important reasons Charlotte Mason says children should engage in nature study and journaling:
*Nature study creates a sense of wonder and interest in the natural world.
*Nature study builds the skills of observation, focus, patience, and higher order thinking skills, such        as classification.
*Nature study connects children with beauty, therefore making them happier.
*Nature study requires time spent in nature, which brings refreshment to a child’s heart and soul.

I’ll add my own reasons for having my children take part in nature study:
*Nature study allows for meaningful interaction between my children and nature.
*Nature study creates meaningful connections between my children and nature.
*Nature study encourages further learning.
*Nature study brings them excitement, peace, and joy.
*Nature study makes learning science fun.

I encourage you to think through your own reasons for having your children engage in nature study.
Spend some time making a list, and really think about your WHY.
For me, knowing all the good that comes of nature study, there is simply no excuse for not incorporating it into my children’s’ education.
And, once we’ve engaged in nature study, to have them engage in nature journaling.
It is the natural next step.
 

But that brings us back to my original question, what of the reluctant nature journaler?
I am going to guess that your reluctant nature journaler isn’t reluctant to study nature, just to record those studies.
So you have already won half your battle.
If you are out in nature and observe a coyote or a gopher snake, your reluctant nature journaler probably won’t turn his head in disinterest.
And I bet, once home, he’ll sit and listen as you read to him some interesting tidbits about the life of the coyote and the gopher snake.
Now you are already well on your way to helping him begin nature journaling.
You may just have to change the way you let him do it.
You might have to let go of the how and instead embrace your why.

Here is what Charlotte Mason has to say about your child’s nature journal; (emphasis is mine)
“The children keep a dated record of what they see in their nature note-books, which are left to their own management and are not corrected. These note-books are a source of pride and joy, and are freely illustrated by drawings (brushwork) of twig, flower, insect, etc.” (Volume 3 pg 236)
Please observe that the notebooks are theirs.
That they should feel pride and JOY in them.
Nature journaling should not be drudgery.
It should be interesting, and engaging — a time of happy study.

My children have loved nature journaling since I first introduced it to them.
But they have always loved drawing and making art, and have done so since they were 3 and 4 years old.
Therefore, getting them to draw in their nature journals was never a problem.
Through the process of nature journalling I do offer advice and instruction, “study all the colors and shadows on this rock. It’s not just brown. And look at its shape. Its not a perfect circle, is it?”
And I am almost always the one to suggest they nature journal.
But once they get going, they do enjoy sketching and drawing what they’ve seen out in nature.

“So why”, you are asking, “do you consider yourself equipped to write about a reluctant nature journaler?”
“What is your experience with this struggle?”
My experience?
Easy.
I’m a reluctant nature journaler myself.
I don’t enjoy drawing.
I don’t enjoy painting.
I feel stress and anxiety when I attempt it.
I do not feel peace, and certainly not joy.
And I know plenty of kids who feel the same way.
That’s why I wanted to write this piece.
I hate to think of you and your kiddos battling through nature journaling when it really doesn’t ahve to be that way.
When nature journaling becomes a battle, all that wonderful learning that has taken place through nature study gets lost.
And it is simply because your child is struggling to record his learning in the way you think he’s supposed to.
Let’s change that!

So what does that look like?
Yes, it is finally time to think about the HOW!
Well, almost time.

First, let me share how I came to understand that nature journaling could take many different forms and still be completely viable.
It was a real light bulb moment for me, and I hope it will be for you too.
Not very long ago I was talking about my own nature journaling inadequacies, making fun of myself, but still wishing deep down inside that I was a “real” nature journaler.
My wise friend, Jen, disagreed with me.
She said the pictures I take of the things we study in nature, and then the writing I do about those things are my nature journal.
They aren’t kept in a book–they’re on Instagram.
They aren’t beautiful paintings or drawings–they’re pictures I took with my iphone,
They words aren’t hand lettered on a page–but they are excitedly researched and lovingly crafted into stories.
They aren’t the way Charlotte Mason describes nature journals at all!
But they’re still nature journals.
They look different.
But they’re still the real thing.
 

I felt so validated.
(yes, even a 39 year old mom needs that sometimes)
What a gift my Jen-girl gave me.
And what an understanding it opened for me for all the other reluctant nature journalers out there.
Kids, and mamas, too.

This revelation changed the way I thought about nature journaling.
As home schoolers, we have the wonderful freedom to change our children’s education so that it fits them best.
What a gift that is!
We must not forget to offer our children freedom in learning in our quest to do things only in the way which we think they should be done.

So what does it look like to offer freedom to your child as he nature journals?
*It means you study your child and find out where he struggles.
And then you:
*might put away the pens, the colored pencils and the paint brushes.
*might give her a camera while she is on the trail, and instructions to take photos of the things that capture her interest.
*might print out some of those photos and let her study them.
*might talk about what she sees in the photo, or simply saw out on in nature, just as you would if she were preparing to draw or paint them.
*might look at colors, shapes, and the environment that the item grew in.

Or:
*your child can collect items found along the trail and preserve them in her nature journal.
*wild flowers and leaves can be pressed between the pages of a heavy book and then glued or taped in her journal.
*lizard skins and butterfly wings can be kept in places of honor on her dresser to to be looked at and admired for many days to come, and then carefully placed in a ziplock bag and stapled in her nature journal.
There are so many different ways to fill a nature journal!

Once the photographing, collecting, and observing have been done, then the research can happen.
I find that my kids and I always want to know more about the things we see and bring home from our hikes.
We want to know the names of things, and how they grow and what they eat, and what their songs sound like.
So we:
*listen to bird songs online
*we read books, field guides, and look at countless pictures on line to determine exactly which yellow breasted bird we saw in that tree
*we closely study the leaves and petals of wild flowers to identify and name them.
*we collect acorns and leaves and use them to help us learn about the many varieties of trees..
*I look for information in the books on our shelves that describe the various plants, birds, and animals we’ve seen and read those pieces aloud to my kids.
The research is an extension of the nature study and a valuable part of our nature journaling.

But perhaps your child isn’t thrilled with research.
Ask yourself why?
Are you giving him a stack of books and setting him to work all on his own?
Have you ever tried distinguishing one yellow breasted bird from another?
Its tedious!
Perhaps your child needs you to sit down next to him.
Perhaps he needs you to research with him.
You have the freedom to do that!

We always do our research together.
We share our discoveries and that makes the learning more exciting.
My kids, even my older ones, would not thrive if I set them before a stack of books and field guides and said, “now identify all the things we saw on our hike yesterday.”
We are working toward that goal, but in the meantime, they still need my help.
They need my encouragement.
And my goal right now is that they would enjoy the process of researching, rather than just get it done.

The last piece of our nature journaling for us is the writing.
And while my kids do love making art in their journals, they haven’t always loved the writing.
Sometimes there have been tears or great frustration.
So I have made adjustments along the way to get them to the place where they are writing in their journals and it isn’t a tear filled experience along the way.

Here’s what that looked like:
*at first, they just labeled the things they saw.
*all additional research was discussed orally and was not written in their journals.
*later, they narrated one or two sentences about the things we researched, I wrote it down, and they copied what I wrote.
*next, they had to write their own sentences, and if they needed help, I was right there.
*finally, some of my kids could compose their own paragraphs, synthesizing the information we’ve learned together, and putting it down in their journals.
But it took us a while to get there.
And if that had been my expectation in the beginning, or even later when I was sure they were ready, there would have been tears and resistance.
There would have been reluctance.
And that is never our goal.

You see, the point of nature journals is not to teach our kids to be great artists.
Or great writers.
Nature journals are about getting our kids to enjoy nature.
Nature journals should be the natural outpouring of the excitement they felt doing nature study.
Their nature journals should be a place where they remember exciting hikes, and discoveries, special trips and new learnings.
Nature journals, whatever they look like, should be a treasure that your child can look back on and enjoy for years to come.
And if you allow your reluctant nature journaler the freedom to find his own way to nature journal, then that will happen.
And you will have given him a great gift.
I so hope you’ll try.
And I’m wishing you all the best on your journey,
Greta

A few of my favorite books to use for research during nature journaling:
The Burgess Bird book by Thornton Burgess
The Burgess Sea Shore book by Thornton Burgess
The Burgess Animal book by Thornton Burgess
Pagoo by Holling Clancy Holling
Minn of the Mississippi by Holling Clancy Holling
Sea Bird by Holling Clancy Holling
John Muir’s Book of Animals by John Muir
Nature Anatomy by Julia Rothman
Farm Anatomy by Julia Rothman
Animalium by Jenny Broom
Golden Nature Guides
How and Why Wonder books
Any of the vast collection of vintage books I’ve collected on all things nature.
 

When God Meets Us Where We Are

Do you know Patricia St. John? She was a life long missionary, and the author of many wonderful books for children. I read all of them as a young girl, but never knew about this book, her autobiography, until recently.
It’s marvelous.

The writer of the forward for the book describes Patricia St. John as a “redemptive person”. Isn’t that a beautiful description of a person? That someone would meet PSJ and come away feeling that from her? I was moved to tears at the thought of what a wonderful woman she must have been to garner such a description.
Redemption is certainly the theme of all her children’s books so I can imagine she must have been like that in person as well.

One of my favorite parts of the book thus far is a story PSJ shares of her time working in a small village in Morocco. Each week she’d invite the ladies of the village to come to her house for tea and fellowship, and then she’d share the gospel with them.
One older lady, the village water carrier, came every week, enjoyed tea, and then promptly fell asleep when the bible message began. Her snores were very disruptive, but PSJ let her sleep, knowing how tired she must be from her hard daily work.
One day this woman stayed awake for the message. She seemed happier and less bowed under the weight of her buckets. “What has happened?” PSJ asked her.
The woman replied, “I heard the message you spoke for me last week. The one where your Jesus said, “come to me all you that labor and are heavy laden.” You were talking to me. I am the one who is heavy laden with these buckets of water. And all the next day I kept saying Jesus’ name over and over as I carried those buckets, And they didn’t feel so heavy. He helped me.”
PSJ smiled in wonder at the goodness of God.
This woman had heard the words Jesus spoke and then she fell asleep and didn’t hear the rest of the words PSJ had spoken. PSJ went on further to share that the heavy burdens Jesus took from is were our sins. He carries them from us and for us.
But this woman didn’t need to hear that. She needed to know that there was a God who cared for her physical burdens. A God who would meet her simple, physical needs.
She didn’t theology or doctrine.
And God knew that.
He met her where she was.

I love that so much.
Because I have been there.
God has met me in the shower, where I hid my tears from my kids, and cried out my broken heart after a miscarriage and over a broken marriage.
God met m in the pages of The Chronicles of Narnia, where He showed me how much He loved and cared for me through the character Aslan. And what grace and forgiveness look like through the characters of Edmund and Eustace.
He met me as I read through the Jesus Storybook Bible with my kids, crying through every story that showed the mighty, healing, grace of a Savior who forgives.
He met me in a hospital room, in the gentle touch of a nurse, who washed blood from my legs and let me cry over a lost baby.
He met me atop a mountain, in the form of a hawk, hovering just over our heads for many minutes. Aaron and I were broken, bruised, and healing, and that hawk spoke to us a message of hope. He reminded us of a God Who brings miracles of beauty and grace, when it doesn’t seem like they could possibly be there.

None of these moments were in church, or came from deep, theological discussions.
They were, however, very much what I needed at the time.
God met me where I was,
He knew exactly what I needed from Him.
And He gave it to me.

I love my church, my pastor, and the way God ministers to me through both of them.
But I also love the way God knows me so deeply and personally that He brings me His love in many, many different ways.

He knows us.
He cares.
“You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.”
Psalm 139: 1-12

If you are feeling weary and burdened, weighted down with care like that woman in the village, may you know the deep, abiding, caring love of God today.
You only need to call His name.

And remember, books change people.
The Good Book, and also so many others that God uses to speak to us.
Much love,
Greta

Home Schooling 101: How to do Nature Study with your Nature Group

The longer I use nature study as the means of teaching my kids science, the more I love it.
It lays such a great foundation for them for further study of the many different branches of science.
“Consider, too, what an unequalled mental training the child-naturalist is getting for any study or calling under the sun — the powers of attention, of discrimination, of patient pursuit, growing with his growth, what will they not fit him for?” (Charlotte Mason Vol. 1, p. 61).

When we first began home schooling,we did nature study on our own.
We’d collect nature finds out on our weekly hikes, come home research them, and then the kids would draw and paint them in their nature notebooks.
It was good, but after a time, I was wanting to do more.

So several years ago our home school group decided to engage in a more focused method of nature study together.
We’d chose a topic for each term, let our kids to study this topic together, add specific focus to some of our weekly field trips, and then have the kids share presentations with one another at the end of each term.
The focus of our group is for fellowship with one another each week, spending time in and studying nature together, to adventure and learn together.
We weren’t wanting to change into a science co-op.
We just wanted to add a more focused nature/science study to what we were already doing.

With a little planning and thought, our vision became a reality.
It has been a fantastic way for our kids to study science together!

Here is how our group does it:
Every term we pick a new science topic to study.
To find those topics, we follow the nature study schedule from Ambleside Online.
You can find the nature study schedule  here.

There are 3 topics of study per year, one for fall, winter and spring.
Each family approaches the study in their own way.
We do share resources and ideas, books, websites, and lessons that are working for us.
And when we plan our schedule of field trips, we all try to keep in mind any hikes, classes, or trips that fit into our topic of study and then add those to our schedule.
Its been a great way to add some more focus to our nature study together.

For example, when we studied weather, we visited the campus of UCLA and attended a class taught by the head of the meteorology department.
We also visited a historic lighthouse.
When we studied stars and sky, we visited the Griffith Observatory and Planetarium in Los Angeles.
And we went to a rocket launch at Vandenberg Air Force Base!
For reptiles, we visited a reptile zoo, and for brooks, rivers, and oceans, we visited tidal flats, some creeks, and tide pools.
For cultivated crops, we visited an olive packing house.
And even on field trips that aren’t specifically focused on our nature study, we can’t help finding ourselves thinking about the topic and seeing it everywhere we go.
Its really fun!
 

At the end of the term, the kids all do presentations related to the topic of study.
Again, its up to each family how they want to choose the topic.
It seems like most of us just let the kids lead the way picking something that really interests them and is somehow related to our topic.
And they have a great time doing their presentations.
As they have presented on bugs, birds, trees and outer space, they have made dioramas, sculptures, home made food, smoothies, games, and lots of presentation boards.

Of course, standing up in front of a group and presenting also gives our kids those all important socialization skills.
I’m sorry. 
After a lifetime of being asked about socialization, I just can’t resist a little teasing when the topic comes up.
I assure you, presenting to a group of moms, toddlers, pre-schoolers, and an array other, multi-aged elementary students, is a real boost to those social skills.
In fact, our biggest problem is that our kids are all so social, its hard to get them to stop presenting or asking questions after each presentation.
They’ve got this socialization thing in the bag.
 

Doing nature study this way has been a really great for my kids.
They love learning like this with their friends.
Its given them more focus when we are out together each week.
And more excitement as they discover things together.
 

For us moms, it hasn’t added any extra work.
In fact, I have found its really given me more direction and excitement to study nature and science this way.
Its become one of my absolute favorite subjects to teach to my kids.
Because basically I am learning alongside them.
I never loved science as a kid, but I sure do now!
“If getting our kids out into nature is a search for perfection, or is one more chore, then the belief in perfection and the chore defeats the joy. It’s a good thing to learn more about nature in order to share this knowledge with children; it’s even better if the adult and child learn about nature together. And it’s a lot more fun.” Richard Louve

For more of my thoughts on nature study, and nature notebooks, you can read my post about it here. And for more on starting your own Nature Group, read my post here. 

Cheers to learning through nature!
Greta