This week our Adventure Club set out on our first hike since last March when everything shut down. It was so wonderful to be out on the trail again with our best adventure buddies! Our weekly adventures together are one of the most cherished parts of our life.
I do, however, have a confession to make. While I was happy to be with my crew, I wasn’t really excited about the hike we were going to do. It was hot day, and this hike is mostly uphill in full sun. It felt like a beach day, not a hiking day. My attitude was more of one being forced to hike than one who was excited to hike. In fact, the day felt like it was shaping up to be a misadventure rather than one of the adventures I loved.
Ironically I spoke on a stage just a few days before about how to flourish in the midst of a year that feels like a giant misadventure. I talked about the importance of making the most with what we’ve got and the power of reframing a negative situation into a positive one. Too bad I wasn’t practicing what I preached. At all.
I wasn’t the only one who was struggling. All of us were dripping sweat and huddled together for water breaks in any patch of shade we could find. Most of us said, “this hike is better in the winter!” And some of us also said, “I hate this hike!” At one point, Davy stopped and said in a tearful voice, “I think I’m having a breakdown!” His face was bright red and he didn’t want to go on.
My first reaction was frustration and even embarrassment. Why wasn’t he tougher? My next instinct was to urge him forward with sternness instead of compassion. After all, I was just as miserable as he was. And I had little energy to spare to push him forward. I just wanted to hurry and get the hike over with.
Thankfully the Lord reminded me that the way to connect with my kids’ hearts has never been through harshness. Instead, I knelt down, looked him in the eye, and said gently, “I know this is hard. I’m having a hard time too. But I believe you can do this. I believe in you! And I’ll do it with you.”
It wasn’t a magic pill that instantly solved the problem. There were still plenty of moments where he slowed down to a crawl and I had to urge him forward.But I held held his hand when he asked and encouraged him along the way.
When we crested the last hill, I excitedly cheered, “Davy! You did it! You made it up all the hills!” I hugged him and high fived him happily. He didn’t jump up and down with excitement but says solemnly, “God gives the weary strength.” Then he walked off down the trail with best buddy. My smile was a mile wide. That Davy boy never ceases to surprise me.
When we all finished the hike, we were tired and so sweaty, but proud. Because we did that hike faster than we ever had before. It was so hot that we just wanted to get it done as quickly as possible. And we did! It was pretty fun to realize we could flourish, even in the middle of a misadventure.
One other thing I talked about in from the stage last weekend was how misadventure cultivates connection. It truly does. And while I appreciate the other benefits of misadventure, connection is the one I value the most. I’ll never forget the way Davy looked when I told him I believed in him. I’ll never forget the way he reached for my hand, and shared the good words in his heart. I’ll never forget the way our group rose to the occasion, even though it wasn’t easy, and how proud we all felt because of it. We all bonded in special ways. “That is the magic of misadventure. The hardship and the struggle, the scary parts, even the undesirable parts all create this special bond that happens faster and holds stronger than the bonds made in our regular, humdrum days.” (from Chapter 6 of “Adventuring Together”)
I’m so glad our school days are filled with adventures, and misadventures, with our best friends and each other. I can’t imagine a better way to live our life together.
Cheers to adventure!
Greta